My Israel Adventure

Snow in Jerusalem!

2008-01-30T11:00:00.000-08:00

Rumors were flying, as we were flying, that there would be snow in Jerusalem over the next few days. Well, I didn't believe it until I woke up this morning to a window filled with snow-flaked, snow-covered trees and sidewalks! Seriously, unbelievable. At first, I was excited to see snow in Jerusalem. "How pretty" I thought as I looked out the window, blow dried my hair, and put on clothes that I thought would keep me warm for my journey to HUC for the start of Winter Colloquium. Snow is not rain, I thought to myself, as my roommates and I decided it would be best to walk to school instead of take a cab. I mean, Israeli cab drivers are crazy, and our safety could not be guaranteed if we were to take one. So, clearly, walking half an hour to school seemed like the best option at the time. Well, how silly we must have been. After that "adventure," I can now tell my children that I once walked to school uphill, in the snow... and it wasn't pretty! I now realize that risking my life in a cab is certainly worth the dryness that would come with it. By the time I arrived to school, my jeans were completely soaked, as were my shoes and socks, which I hadn't thought ahead to bring another pair with me, and my beautiful hair with my cute new haircut was ruined. I was baffled when arriving at school and listening to my classmates talk about how happy they were about the snowfall. Now, granted, I am from California, but seriously, what is so great about snow?? I think I'd much rather have the choice to drive to the snow, or to stay in the sun where it is warm and my bones don't feel frozen. Needless to say, I took a cab home.

Israel Seminar 2

2007-10-18T09:18:00.000-07:00

Reflection #2
Israel Seminar, Galilee Trip September 23-25, 2007
Overall, the Galil trip was wonderfully interesting, beautiful, and just what I needed for the time. Getting out of Jerusalem is more important to keeping my peace of mind, and something that I do not do nearly enough. The North has always been one of my favorite parts of the country, I think because of its seemingly endless fields and flowers, and the fresh air that I breathe so freely whenever I am there.
I am completely fascinated with the aliyot and the pioneers that came here when there was nothing. I constantly wonder what I would do if I was in a similar situation, living in a hostile environment in Europe knowing that there was a land that I believed held a more positive future for me and my family. I often say that I probably would have just stuck with the status quo, living in Europe, since in a sense I have not made that move in my lifetime now. I think that people still romanticize the idea of aliyah, however I think that it is different today in comparison to how the pioneers envisioned it back then. Today, I think we tend to concentrate on the political situation and the economic situation over the idea of living in the Modern Jewish State. I still toy with the idea of leaving my family behind and starting a life here, but living so far from my family in the US just still seems too much a sacrifice for me to make. I suppose one day that decision will be set in stone, but for now it will remain as a thought that more than occasionally crosses my mind.
Besides this, there were two moments during the tiyul that impacted me greatly. The first moment was in the romantic city of Rosh Pina, where there are still standing buildings and gardens from the time it was rebuilt. I was fascinated by the interplay between the halutzim and the funder, Baron de Rothschild, who basically saved the yishuv from going under. Perhaps this sounds naïve, but I didn’t realize how much impact private donors had on the welfare of the State of Israel even before it was declared a state. The stronghold that de Rothschild had on this particular yishuv certainly impacted the people there, in both good and bad ways, since it was run like a business. I was impressed that he was able to help the city develop into such a cornerstone, as it is named, of the settlements of its time. I was also surprised to find out how complicated the situation was between those in his administrative office and the pioneers there. This was just new information to add to my knowledge of the development of the northern part of the country.
Secondly, the briefing that Paul gave at the border of Metulla was both fascinating and depressing. The layers that he revealed about our Lebanese neighbors were at the same time depressing and uplifting. As he shared his personal experience with a Shiite (I think) family while he was based in Lebanon, I realized how complicated this whole mess of a situation is. While I strongly believe that Israel deals with political situations in the best way possible, a solution to the political problem seems almost hopeless because of the deep schism of sects in other countries. The border was also a fascinating place to be at the time we were there, since there happened to be a group of what looked to be military officers receiving an update on the situation. Paul explained the makeup of the officers, noting their age and rank, and explained that the army was taking more time to update their officers because of the possible conflict that will most likely come again.
While I am endlessly fascinated by this information, a part of me becomes more passionate about what we are doing here, and the other part of me is frustrated at the situation we are always facing here. This trip only deepened that yet again, and I am left with a deep love for this country of indescribable importance to the Jewish people and with hopelessness because we may never live in complete peace. My deep desire is that people will surprise me and I will say that I have underestimated them, but that is yet to be seen.

Israel Seminar

2007-10-18T09:13:00.000-07:00

I realize that my posts have been lacking this year in Israel. Unfortunately, my schedule keeps me so busy that I barely have time to reflect on my life here or my studies. However, the beauty of school is that they assign you to reflect, and therefore I do! So, I decided that if I can reflect for my teachers, I certainly can include those reflections on my blog and hope that it will satisfy my readers for the time being.

I have to classes that require my reflection time: Israel Seminar and Education Seminar. This happens to work as far as my personal career goals, since those two things are my passions. I will do my best to add little things here and there besides my assigned reflections to keep you in the loop of my life. But, if you are ever wondering what I am doing here, you can safely assume that it is in the realm of reading, writing, or eating (because there is always time for that!).

Until then, forgive me for only providing you with this...

Reflection #1
Israel Seminar, September 19, 2007
The reflection among the group participants today helped me to understand the place that I am in regarding my relationship to Israel. Hearing that others in the group had experienced similar life-changing events here, and then feeling somewhat disillusioned or unattached to the country this time around helped me feel better about the situation I have felt in since returning to live in Jerusalem for another year.
The truth is that I think my lack of attachment to this particular city stems from my ambivalent feelings that developed over the time I lived here two years ago. Granted, I lived in Jerusalem for 2 and a half months, which is really only time enough to develop somewhat of a feel for the city, but I did not develop a particular love for it. I grew to respect the history here, and the recognition that this is the central place of the modern state of Israel, but I would not live in this city in Israel if I had my choice. I feel like most of Israel’s problems are embodied in this city, and the intensity of that is almost too much for me to handle.
Besides this, the whole discussion of the new Jew creates even more feelings of ambivalence towards Jerusalem for me. The pioneers that came to settle the land years ago would cringe at the sight of this city. The idea of the new Jew of the second Aliyah was to create a sort of Jewish nationalism and strength different from that of the first, seemingly the exact opposite to what this city looks like now. The way the rabbinate has taken hold of holy sites, such as the Kotel, draws on the tradition of the old Jew, and separates the modern day from the past. The pioneers of the second aliyah, in my opinion, would be against anything that prevented the modernization of Jewish practice. The idea of the new Jew is embodied in places like the Golan, where the fields are still utilized for making wine and other crops, despite the fact that Jewish farmers are not working sweat to the brow like the Jewish farmers of the Aliyah.
My hope for this seminar, throughout the year, is to grow an appreciation for my multilayered relationship with the land of Israel and the State of Israel and a better understanding of my passion for this country despite my issues with it.

Sick and Bored

2007-08-07T09:07:00.000-07:00

Well, it officially takes a little over 2 days for me to become bored of staying at home and checking the internet, watching movies, and sleeping intermittedly throughout the day. I think it is funny how one romanticized sickness when there are other committments like school or work that are general requirements of life. However, I've decided that I would much rather be sitting in on my 4 hours of Hebrew class and seminars after class than sitting at home, on my bed, itching myself whenever my body demands it.

Today, I finally sucked it up and decided to face the Israeli hospital system, in a desperate measure to get some relief from the awful rash that has overcome my body and tonsils that make food taste weird and undesirable. The good news is that I was pleasantly pleased, much different from when I had to take my Birthright participant (not me, sorry for the confusion) to the emergency room. I held out through the night so I could go into the walk-in clinic of English speaking doctors in Jerusalem in hopes that they could figure out what the heck my body is doing and give me some drugs to get rid of it. I almost succeeded, but as is typical of me, the blood tests and throat culture was inconclusive and I am at least stuck with my new best friend, Calamine lotion, and a new nick-name given to me by my boyfriend, "Petri dish." Cute, huh? So, tomorrow morning I will call the doctor at 9:30AM and hopefully she will tell me then to start taking some drug to get me feeling better.

Other than that, the good news is I have all this time to blog and attempt to bring you up to date on my life. I might have to stop every so often to itch whatever part of my body demands, but hopefully there won't be too much stopping. This would be an accomplishment.

So, first thing is first, I am officially a student with at least four hours of class and 2 hours of homework a night. For about 2 more weeks, I will continue in Ulpan, an intensive Hebrew course for the summer, and then other classes will start as well. I definitely appreciate the concentrated focus on Hebrew, but am disappointed that I really don't use it out of the classroom like I would like to. I thought Otzma was an American bubble, but this experience takes that expression to a whole new level. I really never have to speak Hebrew outside of class unless I am in a grocery store or in a cab. Other than that, all my friends are American and we all socialize together at the same restaurants and bars, so my Hebrew is pushed aside to make room for other deeper conversations.

Speaking of which, these deeper conversations are part of what has made this experience so much different than my Otzma one. Not saying that during Otzma deep conversations were not held, but the topics certainly were not what they are now. I cannot tell you how many first interactions with other students in my program that have been about the role of Reform Judaism, or the direction the movement is going, or the unique place of the rabbi, cantor, or educator in each different community. Everyone comes from a different community in the US, and in some cases parts of Europe, with a different perspective on these issues. A part of me was overwhelmed and annoyed at these initial conversations, especially with those that I would consider having "something to prove." I was frustrated that people would not generally show their personality before their perspective, and when someone does that it is sometimes hard to then look at them for their personality first. However, taken in context, everyone here intends to be a Jewish professional in either the capacity of a rabbi, cantor, or educator, and that definitely adds a sense of entitlement to express one's opinion's regarding issues such as this. Unlike in past group situations, however, I haven't felt the need to reach out and get to know everyone, because I know that is something that evolves with time. However, in my sickness, I have come to realize that I have met some amazing people that I do just click with. That is comforting.

Some things I have done in the past few weeks... Two weekends ago, I spent the Shabbat in Kibbutz Yagur, a secular kibbutz about 20 minutes east of Haifa. The invite came from an Israeli rabbinical student also studying at Hebrew Union College, in the Israeli program which is separate from mine. He came to speak about his path to the rabbinate from his secular kibbutz upbringing to my classmates and invited a group of us to come stay for a Shabbat and see what he has been doing at his kibbutz. Kibbutz Yagur is the third largest kibbutz in Israel, and that being said, is secular. And, the truth is, when I say secular for an Israeli it is virtually the same thing as being secular in the States, except worse in some respects. Keeping kosher, Shabbat, or anything considered "religious" is frowned upon in the community, because in Israel being religious is only reserved for those who the government supports and the society hates. Therefore, the stigma attached to anything connected to that community is nothing to shrug off. So, for Gadi (that is the rabbinical student's name), his challenge was to bring a different kind of practice to his kibbutz that wouldn't turn people off but would still seem authentic to them. That is the other problem; any other "type" of Judaism isn't automatically considered authentic, so most Israelis also frown upon alternative styles of worship as well. So, Gadi started slowly, to build upon the Jewish year and began with Tu B'shevat in his kibbutz, the "tree-planting holiday" which Israelis might appreciate a little more than us in the States because of the vitality of trees to this country. He gradually moved forward and introduced other festivals to the kibbutz that people enjoyed, and now has a weekly Shabbat service. However, when I say Shabbat service, I certainly don't mean Shabbat like we are used to. They don't read from the Torah, although it is mentioned, and many secular Israeli songs are mixed into the other liturgical songs of a regular Friday night service. When several of my classmates and I were hosted by kibbutz families, some of the families joined for the services and others did not. The mom in my host family happened to be the secretary of the kibbutz, which is the same thing as the president, and she couldn't be more of a kibbutznik. Her hair was tied to the side in a long braid, she was wearing a straw hat and no make up, and her sandals just put the entire look of a kibbutznik together. She was late arriving home, so I actually didn't even meet her until after I had come and gone from the Shabbat service that Gadi led. I spoke with the "host dad" of the family, and his remarks about what Gadi was doing was that it was cute, but boring to him so he wouldn't bother going. I guess Judaism has to be "entertaining" to some, even in Israel. However, the interesting thing about this host family was that besides their frowning upon traditions, they still did a mini Friday night Shabbat service at their home prior to eating. The reason it was interesting was two-fold: first because it was at a Kibbutz, and they bothered to recognize Shabbat, and second because the service was led by the mother and daughter of the family, something definitely not traditional. The story of this family is that the "host mom," Ilana, came from a religious family and although she is not religious in that way anymore, she said that she wouldn't just throw it all away. It is fascinating to think that the one thing she preserved is Shabbat, among all the other choices of practice to keep.
The rest of the weekend at the Kibbutz was quite beautiful. My host family was more of like a hotel, not much interaction with the family or effort into getting to know me. But, I had a bed and a shower, and some food which ended up to be a great situation. I went to the pool all day on Shabbat, which was amazing, and ended up being adopted for Shabbat lunch twice by my classmate Aimee's family and my boyfriend Greg's family. I was stuffed, but the conversation was great and the people were wonderful. I definitely had warm fuzzies after leaving those two families, and feel like I would go back to that kibbutz for another Shabbat to be hosted by them again. Good times...
Speaking of Shabbat culture, it is something you really feel in this country, but especially in this city. Since I am in a Reform seminary of people who want to be Jewish professionals, each week there is a plethora of invitations to people's homes for Shabbat and different services to try out. And, considering how my weeks go, I start anticipating Shabbat on Sunday when the work week starts here. The set up of the week here truly makes you value your day "off" and find ways to make it both meaningful and relaxing at the same time. So, last weekend we had a required service by my school to go see Harel, and Reform shul in Jerusalem with a woman rabbi. I had been there before, I think with Rabbi Einstein on a tour, and it was very reminiscent of home. They offered us opportunities to be involved in their community, whether it be reading Torah or helping in the preschool or whatever. It was nice, and I may take them up on their offer. However, the best part of this night was hosting Shabbat dinner at my house after services! I volunteered to be the chef of the main course, chicken (traditional for the Friday night Shabbat meal), and my roommates and I ended up hosting around 20 people for dinner. While I was quite intimidated by this number of people, I chose an easy recipe to cook for everyone and prepared it before Shabbat so I would just have to heat it up when I got home. Well, I can say, it was great! The chicken was a balsamic vinagrette, olive oil, and honey recipe and turned out so tasty! I was so happy to see everyone enjoying the meal and complimenting me on a job well done. It was just nice to do Shabbat the right way and have contributed a significant part of it. I am happy to pass along the recipe if you are curious...

And other than that, I am still in bed, trying to get healthy so I can keep up the good work. I've been posting photos, so if you don't see a blog from me, you can at least see what I have been up to from my pics. More later... (and I will try to be better at updating...)

2007-07-07T14:58:00.000-07:00

Birthright, Settling In, and Settling Down...

I have been here for almost a month, but it truly feels as if I never left. Except for a few things, not much has changed besides a few new restaurants opening, new stores, and some other barely noticeable things. What I have noticed that has changed, however, is me.

During Birthright, it was an amazing opportunity to be on the staff end of a trip of peers. Although I was frustrated a few times with a few participants, overall the trip was amazing and a great way to start my stay here in Israel again. This time, however, I felt as if I was playing the role of teacher. For each place that we went, I learned something new and remembered a lot of what I had been taught my first time there. The new, kind of wonderment that I used to feel for each place I went was gone, but replaced by an intense connection and knowledge of where I stood. Because of this, I had an ability to teach and answer questions from the participants on the side. While I encouraged them to listen to our tour guide, Marty, who was amazing, sometimes they required a shorter, more to the point explanation of a site we were visiting. Most of the time, I could give them an answer. I was pretty impressed with myself and proud that the time spent here last year was not lost or forgotten. By the end of the trip, one of the participants who had confided in me that she just simply did not understand the importance of Israel and didn't think she could ever feel connected to another land told the group that she understood afterwards. She couldn't say the prayer over the Shabbat candles, but I think she began to understand her connection to Judaism in Israel. I was amazed to see this happen to several of the participants. Literally, these were kids with barely any connection to Judaism and especially not Israel, but their experience on Birthright changed them. The discussions about Jewish identity and connection to the Land required their thoughts and contemplations, and I cannot even tell you what a relief I felt to hear their validations of what we had been showing them during the trip. So, although I lost a lot of sleep during the trip, and had my first visit to an Israeli emergency room, the trip was amazing and the group even more amazing. I felt so lucky to be a part of them and will continue to stay in touch and help them connect to their communities at home. To me, that is what this is all about.

However, the trip leads me to my next revelation... culture shock. I think it is possible that I am experiencing a bit of reverse culture shock! I came here feeling like I would know full well what to expect... and I still feel that way! But, for me, that is where the problem lies... I expect the cabbies to drive terribly and try to rip me off. I expect to push my way onto the bus and wait for another one to come when I get pushed out of the way. I am used to the way people argue with each other and talk over one another. I'm used to coming home from bars and having to wash the smoke smell out of everything. And, the truth is, it's hard to readjust back into this because in some respects it has lost the "fun." I hate smoke! Really, I do, and you just can't get away from it here. I get annoyed that I have to ask the cabs to turn on the meter when I get in because they don't do it automatically. And, I get more annoyed at myself when I don't speak up and let these annoying drivers take advantage of me. I hate that I think about my "safety" when I get on a bus but am sometimes more afraid of the cab drivers talking on the phone and driving like maniacs on the road. Life here is an adjustment and it isn't "easy." And, I know that, and that makes it more of something that I acknowledge unlike the last time I arrived in Israel.

But, on the flip side, I have had my moments these past few weeks. After settling into my apartment, I bought a new bed from Shlomo in Jerusalem. He sold me a cheap bed and it arrived on time to my place. Amazing. They came in and set it up and I now feel like a real person with a real room in my apartment. I LOVE that the name of the guy who sold me my bed is Shlomo. And then, on the way back from buying my bed, there was a cab driver who stopped, and another who backed up to pick me and my roommate off the road with all our stuff. We were in a predicament.... Which cab do we choose? So, we went with the one who didn't back up, but who stopped in front of us. While the two cabbies were yelling at each other over us, they recognized each other, realized they were friends, and started laughing about the situation. I think the economy here is what makes it the hardest to just be normal.

Besides this moment, I had to rush off to Tel Aviv to catch Maor in his play. But... Maor failed to tell me that there would be 4 other little plays before his... On the way to Tel Aviv, I had to hop on a bus I had never taken before. I didn't know exactly where I was going, so I asked the bus driver to tell me where to get off. Seriously, he was the nicest bus driver ever. He kept smiling at me, saying he hadn't forgotten about me, and that I shouldn't worry. Then he started telling all the other passengers about the cute girl from America. A woman then started pointing out where I was going as we were approaching it so I would find my way... I did and departed from my new friends, feeling like I had experienced what I had been missing thus far... Maor's play was brilliant, of course, and he was amazing in it. But, the cooler part for me were two of the dramas before his. My Hebrew is still not fluent, but I picked up from one of the dramas that they were doing an adaptation of Joseph's dream coat from the Torah. Another play was a satire dealing with the kidnapped soldiers. EVERYTHING is intertwined here, and it never ceases to amaze me how it all comes together. The Joseph play was deep, questioning, curious about the relationship between Joseph and God and his brothers. The play about the kidnapped soldiers was dark, cynical, and critical of the government's failing to succeed in bringing them home. The disappointment was palpable in this play and indicative of the feelings of many people in the country on this topic. To me, however, I just saw this collection of plays as an example of the modern state of Israel, struggling with the issues head on and using art as a form of release. I am lucky to have Maor bring me into this world of his, because I feel like I am experiencing it more like an insider. I love that there is a country that has Judaism so deeply entrenched in its psyche, and this coming from the "secular" city of Tel Aviv.

My life in Jerusalem is settling... I am just finishing setting up the apartment. We almost have working Internet and a stocked kitchen. My room is adorable, and I love it. I love my new bed and I think my roommates and I will get along great. They are both rabbinical students from all over the States, but both going to Cincinnati after this year. David is from St. Louis and was in finance for a while. He has a hilariously dry sense of humor, plays guitar, has a gf at home, and is a calm person in general. He and I get along great. PJ is from South Carolina, just graduated from college, is a huge social butterfly, and also has a gf at home. The more I get to know him, the more I like him. And, I can't forget to mention another character in our lives, our landlord Felix. I think he is about 85. He doesn't like contracts, but is totally trustworthy and a sweet man. He already replaced our semi-broken toilet, thank goodness. When explaining how things worked in the apartment, he was sure to make the boys tell me how to fix the stove, water the plants, and do the laundry. Thank goodness too, because I am the woman of this house! Anyway, that is the ongoing joke of the house, but I think it is funny and I don't expect it to be very serious at least among the boys. So, we are all settling and life at Hebrew Union College is moving along. We have had several pre-Orientation gatherings, and I have met some great people thus far. I've had interesting conversations already about Jewish life in the States and the state of the Reform Jewish community. These conversations have left me happy, frustrated, tired, overwhelmed, and all sorts of emotions, all in an informal setting! Class can only be that much more interesting...

Anyway, that is it for now! I'll be updating soon...

Home

2007-06-03T20:13:00.000-07:00

Life can seem surreal at times. Today is Sunday, June 3rd and I have just gotten home from a wedding at my synagogue of two members. As I looked around the room, I realized that half of the place were other members of my synagogue, people who have watched me grow up and whom I have known for years. Everyone was asking about my upcoming adventure to Israel... How long will you be there? What are you going to do? When do you leave? Even the bride and groom, on what is their day, were thoughtful enough to inquire. I have been on a whirlwind trip around California, and have really started to explore the idea of what home is. How do you define what your true home is? Is it where you grew up? Is it where your family is? Is it where your friends are? Is it where you found yourself? Is it where you are when you are there? What makes a home, your home? Is home truly where the heart is?

These questions have been crossing my mind as of late as I have ventured to many of my past homes and have started to really think about this new journey in my life. I will attempt again to create a new home far away from the majority of my family and where I grew up with a group of new and old friends, family, and colleagues in Jerusalem. Jerusalem was my home for part of my Otzma year, but I never really took a liking to it. Yes, it is true, Jerusalem can leave a bad taste in your mouth and it certainly did with me when I lived there. For many reasons that I will put aside for a moment, this "bad taste" has left me with the challenge of discovering how to make Jerusalem my home.

What I take from where I grew up and have lived for the last year of my life, Fountain Valley, is a strong network of support from friends and family who have watched me grow and evolve. FV has always been a "nice place to live" (the motto of the town) for me since my entire family and best friends are here (or not too far). Since college, FV has served as a quiet respite from life whether I was in Santa Barbara for college or in LA working at AIPAC. I always felt at home here, cozy and calm under the protection of my parents, and that has even extended into this year. I know I will miss my parents' and brother's presence when I am in Israel, but I will carry their warmth and love with me wherever I go. But, especially after returning here, I have wondered if this is truly my home.

UCSB in Santa Barbara pushed me to grow into who I am today. In this home, I became comfortable enough in who I am to take risks and challenge myself to do things I never thought possible. I honed my passion for Judaism and learning, and really created my own community of friends and family at UCSB. I was involved in the greater community, and really felt like I was beginning to know Santa Barbara beyond the walls of my university. I really learned to pray in Santa Barbara. I am not sure if it was a combination of the gorgeous landscape, or the breathtaking sunsets, or the haunting melodies, but I really felt like Santa Barbara was my spiritual home, and the place where I could truly let Shabbat in my life. But, after I finished my Bachelor's degree there, I felt like I had to leave. So, I had created a home, and almost overnight it was gone. Was that my home or just the place that shaped me?

In LA I learned a lot, especially about the stress of working life. Is home where my job is? I began to feel like the work at AIPAC was my mission, my duty really to wake up each day to do something to protect Israel. But, one can hardly find peace and solace with the traffic and parking in LA. The excitement of a big city, and one with Jewish life, was exhilarating yet exhausting. Through AIPAC, I learned about the pro-Israel community, and what it means to truly dedicate yourself for the well being of the country. I know my experience in LA at AIPAC taught me a lot, and despite the fact that my grandparents lived there, I'm not sure I would ever truly call it home.

So, again, I am left with the same question... What defines home? I suppose as I embark on another journey to Israel, the home of my people and my history, I will uncover more of what home means to me. I found home several times when I volunteered and worked in Israel the last time, and created a strong family among my fellow Otzmaniks. But, I always wonder if it is possible to be so strongly connected to two places. My fear is that I will never feel completely whole in one place, that I will always feel something missing when I eventually settle down.

I suppose only time will tell, but at least for the upcoming school year, Jerusalem is my home.

An Israeli Shopping Experience

2006-08-08T16:15:00.000-07:00

Meant to be posted on May 16, 2006...

I have a confession. I am a shopaholic. One of my ex-boyfriends once diagnosed my sickness as “consumerism.” He had learned about it in one of his economic classes, and decided that indeed this was my condition. The truth is that I can’t disagree with this fact. For whatever reason, this character trait of mine has transferred all the way across the world and into Israel. I know this may come as a shock to you, but when I initially set foot in this country, my thought was that I would not shop. I didn’t think the clothes would fit me, and I wasn’t sure I would like the style. After living in Los Angeles among the fashion gurus, I couldn’t imagine that anything could resemble the malls and boutiques that are uniquely found in many different areas of the city. Well, according to my credit card bill, I made a wrong assumption before coming here. I began to learn my ropes around the fashionable stores in Israel like Castro, Honigman, and Tag Woman in Beer Sheva, and perfected the weekly mall stroll in Tel Aviv.

A couple things to note about Israeli fashion… Buttcracks are cool. This must be the case, or else they would make pants that actually cover your entire butt. However, this fashion law here goes hand in hand with the next. Underwear is cool. Thongs or briefs, both are acceptable to parade proudly sticking out of your way below your hips- hipster jeans. Next law: English writing on your shirt is a must. I personally cannot subscribe to this law, as I have always hated labeling myself according to a store, but here it is more than acceptable. Even when the store is authentically Israeli, like Fox Shirts or Castro, the writing on the shirts is still in English. These shirts even say more than just the store they came from, but other phrases that are just odd to read. My favorite example of this is “My mother says, ‘Go #%&* yourself!’” Further, these shirts are appropriate to wear anywhere. Whether it is a wedding or a funeral or the Western Wall, one will see them all over the country. Another rule: the tighter, the better. Now, this tightness is not limited to men or women, young or old, it applies to everyone everywhere on everything. Shirts, pants, or skirts, if you leave even a little bit of room for that extra bit you are trying to work off at the gym, you are out of fashion. Ironically, this especially applies to the men in this country. For the purposes of this fashion law, we will leave out the orthodox in the country. However, for all the other men, the baggy look is out and tight is in. In America this might imply something about the sexuality of the man sporting the outfit, but in Israel things are different. The only thing the lack of a tight shirt might indicate here would be the need for room for the overwhelming amount of chest hair on the guy’s body, or that he hasn’t been able to go shopping since his weight loss. Given that most Israelis are pretty fit and trim, I would guess that the former suggestion is the most true.

This leads me to my discussion about how Israelis shop, based on my observations just hours ago at a Castro store in Jerusalem. Different from my usual “just for pleasure” perusal, this time I had to check on a pair of pants that were supposed to be ordered for me a week ago. I had a brooding fear that this would be one of those times that I just wanted to return home to the good-old American customer service, and I was mostly right. As I waited in line to talk to the store clerk at the counter, the line seemed to keep growing in front of me, to my dismay. I have a new understanding of things when this happens to me. The idea of waiting in a single-file line after one has completed collecting his correct sizes and determined which articles to purchase simply doesn’t exist here. This actually applies to the bank, grocery store, and basically anywhere else where a purchase is being made. So, my annoyance level began to grow as I watched each customer whose spot was “saved” in front of me do their business at the counter. Now, if by exiting the line to finish business would enable one to have an easy check-out, I would be in favor of the idea. However, generally speaking, this is not the case among Israelis. My favorite example today was a woman who looked to be in her late 40’s, early 50’s, who initially walked up to the cash register with one red, Castromania t-shirt in size 2. The problem was that she actually wanted this shirt in black, in size 3. After this exchange was made at the actual cash register and not on the floor, she decided that she wanted two more in red and in blue, which again was brought to her by the salesclerk on the floor. In the meantime, the clerk at the register pushed her aside so he could help the next person in line. While she was waiting on the side of the register, she began looking around and examining everything else displayed on the counter for last minute purchases. She was helped again by the man at the cash register, and completed her purchases without buying anything on the counter. In a sudden move at the end, she headed straight for the far end of the counter opposite to her, cutting in front of everyone else, to look at a purse on display. She took the purse, examined it inside and out, and then did the same to a similar purse in a different color. She decides that she wants to buy it, walks over to the other side of the register, and pulls out her credit card and announces that she would also like to buy the bag. When the woman whose actual turn it was at the register looks up at her with a puzzled and annoyed look, the suddenly ashamed Israeli pushy lady apologizes and realizes that she must wait. Her second transaction is finally completed and she leaves the store.

Now, if that wasn’t enough to send my stress level soaring, there was more. During this ordeal with the crazy Israeli woman at the counter, I was being helped by another salesperson that was checking to see if my pants arrived. Bad sign: she keeps smiling at me while nervously looking at my receipt, back at the closet where orders are supposed to be held, and then back at my receipt again. In order to get anything done with efficiency here, I’ve learned that one can’t stand and look happy. Mind games help expedite the process. You must have a pissed off look on your face while you constantly check the time on your watch or cell phone, so your urgency and disappointment is obvious. Politeness doesn’t help, but only makes things worse because then you won’t take priority. So, even though I was having a rather good day, I put that aside and stood staring straight at the clerk with an almost scowl on my face until things were put in order. They kept looking at me with a sort of pained expression that said something like “We’re trying, we’re trying.” I continued to look annoyed until they gave me the unwelcome news: the pants had been sold to someone else and there wasn’t another pair left in my size in the entire State of Israel. Yep, just as I had thought, it would be one of those “Israel experiences.” I expressed my disappointment to them, which they understood, and proceeded to give me a full refund. Oh Israel, how I love thee. Let me count the ways…

Yom Ha'atzmaut, Yom Ha'zikaron, and the rest of my promised updates

2006-05-09T10:03:00.000-07:00

May 6, 2006

This week concluded an extremely important time of the year for Israel. I’m sure there must be a name for this season, but we just observed Yom HaShoah (Holocaust Memorial Day), Yom HaZikaron (Memorial for the Soldiers and Victims of Terror lost), and then concluding with Yom Ha’atzmaut (Israeli Independence Day). This time period took on new meaning for me this year. Why? I have gained a deep, internal understanding of each of these events the holidays have been set apart to commemorate.

Before Yom HaShoah, my group took a tour of Yad VaShem, the Holocaust Memorial Museum located here in Jerusalem. This was my third time visiting the museum, but by far one of the most meaningful. Firstly, the museum was packed with groups of soldiers, tourists, and school groups touring. I gained an inside look from specialized tour guides, and was able to gain a new perspective on the architecture of the museum and the exhibits themselves. Yad VaShem is located next to the Hadassah Hospital and Har Herzl, a cemetery that hosts the top political leaders of the country and soldiers who have also died defending Israel. The sheer location of the museum provides an incredible panoramic view of the city of Jerusalem, seeking to remind the visitors of the “answer” to the Holocaust. At the end of the extensive exhibits of the new museum, one walks out to see Jerusalem in all its glory, providing a look forward into what the Jewish People have gained after the misery and tragedy of the Holocaust. The juxtaposition is truly powerful to me, and I always need to take a deep breath to maintain composure after coming out of the museum. On the actual day of Yom HaShoah, a siren sounds all over the entire country for two minutes. During this time, everyone stops doing whatever they are doing at that moment and stands to commemorate those 6 million lost in the Holocaust. I happened to be at work when the siren sounded, and I stood with my boss listening to the wailing siren all over Jerusalem and looking out the window at everyone observing the same moment. This was incredibly powerful to me.

Yom HaZikaron is an even more somber day to experience here. As my friend Brent said best, “Israelis actually mourn.” This day, if you have lost anyone in war or in a terror attack, you visit their grave and have a short memorial service for them. Depending on whom you are and whom you have lost will make the day more or less hard to get through. I felt a certain distance from this particular ritual because I myself do not know people who have been lost in war or an attack. I suppose this is a good thing, but it certainly separated me from the majority of the Israeli public who unfortunately has had to go through something like this. For this holiday, there are two sirens: one in the evening at 8PM and one the following morning at 11AM. I was in a cab going to Rabin Square in Tel Aviv for a memorial service for the first siren. The cab driver stopped the cab, and we all got out and stood in silence with the rest of traffic while the siren sounded. We continued on our way after the siren stopped. When I experienced this again, I couldn’t get over the idea that the entire country at that moment was stopped and sharing a common experience. It tied the entire country together for a moment, and created a community of people who were all sharing in the same pain. Something like this can only be created in a country this small that has had to endure such horrible things in order to simply survive. This was the thought running through my head the entire time. On Memorial Day in the States, I could never imagine the entire country standing together just for a moment to appreciate the freedoms we have because of the sacrifices we have had to make. I realize that to compare Israel’s history to US history is simply impossible, but I was just moved by the ability of the Israelis to be able to put aside their politics for a minute and remember the losses that transcend the political body making the decisions for the country. In the end, the Israelis understand that they are in this fight for survival together, and I will take the memory of them standing in solidarity just even for a quick minute with me forever. After the siren, I arrived at Rabin Square (called Rabin Square because this was where Yitzhak Rabin was assassinated 10 years ago) for a memorial service for Yom HaZikaron. The place was packed, room to sit on the ground only because you would block someone else if you stood. The Tel Aviv Municipality that sits behind the Square was lit with a huge Israeli flag of lights, and one word saying “Yizkor” or “Remember.” The night was filled with well-known songs of mourning sung by popular Israeli artists, and testimonies from family members of fallen soldiers interspersed between the music. The mood was solemn, internal, as I am sure each person there had his own mourning to do. Each soldier that died was no more than 24 years old, which really impacted me to think that someone’s life could end at the same age I am right now. I started crying when a young girl came on the screen and began talking about her brother who was lost. This felt too scary for me to even imagine, and I just could only begin to feel what she must have felt when she lost her brother. That is quite possibly one of my worst nightmares. The ceremony concluded, and my friends and I went home because everything in this normally busy city was closed for the night. This holiday I have always felt hard to relate to at home, because in some respects it is authentically an Israeli holiday, but when I realize that these kids my age are fighting for the survival of Israel, the true safe-haven for any Jew in the world who needs it, the holiday will always take on new meaning.

The next day comes Yom Ha’atzmaut, similar to the Fourth of July, but more outwardly joyous, festive, and fun. Israel celebrated 58 years of existence this year. 58! That is it! All over the country Israeli flags had been hung in anticipation of this day. At sundown, when Jewish holidays start, the flag rises from half-mass to full-staff as a signal that the celebrations are able to begin. This was quite possibly one of the most fun times I have had yet in Israel. Everyone is out on the streets celebrating the birthday of Israel, the existence of this State. I started this night out by Israeli dancing in front of the Tel Aviv Art Museum. There were many, many people who all knew the dancing, making me feel even sillier when I tried following along. I initially stood on the side until one of the Holocaust survivors from my volunteering recognized me and pulled me along to dance with him. After this, my friends and I moved on to Rabin Square, where we had been the night before for the memorial ceremony. The feeling was completely different this night. There was a rock concert, with a popular Israeli band, and everyone was dancing and enjoying themselves at this show. There were kids running around spraying foam on each other, which unfortunately I experienced as well when a 16 year old decided to hit on me. Upon his rejection, I got shot with foam spray. Fun! The observation that I found quite interesting was the change in mood from one night to the next: utter sadness on Yom HaZikaron and sheer happiness for Yom Ha’atzmaut. I know it is done this way on purpose, but the juxtaposition is an interesting cycle to put forth each year. The Israeli custom for the day of Yom Ha’atzmaut is bar-b-que either at the beaches or parks. I went to my friend Gitit’s parents house to eat fabulous meat and relax all day in her beautiful backyard. What a great time of year!

I’ve sort of come to realize that the subconscious reasons for me not writing about the major “changes” in my life since moving out of Tel Aviv, to do army service in Sar-El, and then to Jerusalem are because they haven’t been and weren’t as life-changing as everything else has been thus far.

The summation of Sar-El goes like this… I was stuck in the middle of the desert, close to the Egyptian border, doing mediocre work in dusty warehouses for three weeks. Okay, that description is a little harsh because overall I did have a great time, but some days that was how I was feeling. The only thing worse to imagine would actually being assigned to this army base, Q’tziyot, as one’s three-year army service. The base is a supply base for times of war. So, all day, every day, the soldiers here are preparing for wartime. They reorganize warehouses based on new orders, clean warehouses, paint tanks and jeeps, organized medicine supplies, and whatever else is assigned to them. The commanders on the base are career army soldiers, and are generally looked down upon by the rest of the soldiers since they never advanced to officer status. Therefore, the respect level is generally low since the soldiers have no other reason in that they must respect their supervisors. The base itself, as I have been alluding to, is not a respected base and people don’t want to end up there as a rule. It really is kind of sad. I just kept imagining how I would feel towards a government who had assigned me to a seemingly useless base for the entirety of my service. I doubt I would feel warm and gooey.

Despite all this, we knew that the soldiers’ moral was raised by us being there and we had a great time working among them and entering into their psyche for a while. Our madrichot (counselors) were two adorable Israeli girls, Galit and Yael, and they busted our butts and tried to keep us motivated to do the monotonous work assigned to us on the base. Each night, after a long days work, we had education sessions with them on various topics relating to the army and Israel at large. We had guest speakers come in to teach us different things as well, and as a whole I gained a lot from those sessions as well. In order to get my volunteer appellate, we were taken on a night mission at 1 in the morning where we had to run all over base and carry one our friends on our backs to the center. I was exhausted after completing this, but felt very satisfied having experienced a minute glimpse into what a night mission might be like. We squatted, flung ourselves to the ground, jogged, sprinted, whatever the commanding soldier told us to do, we did, and I really enjoyed it.

Another aspect to being on a base with soldiers for three weeks is getting the real chance to get to know them. I made a really good friend in a soldier named Shaul, who had already served for a year and a half and had that much left to go. He was one of the best on the base, and was put in charge of helping a group of “special” volunteers who come weekly on the base to do work. He and I shared many talks of his hopes and dreams for after he gets released, and his feelings towards being there in general. As a whole, I really feel like Shaul is an exception to the rule because he was always so positive and wise for his age (he is only 19). He was dealing with being at Q’tziyot in the best way possible. He is one of my most cherished friends here in Israel, and we still keep in touch even since I left the base. As a whole, I loved my experience in Sar-El where I would wear no make-up during the week, shower with a hose for a nozzle and no shower doors, and eat really awful food that literally made my stomach hurt. Boy, did I appreciate the weekends and simple things like laundry! I am so happy to have this outlook on the experience of the soldiers, but was glad to get on with the rest of the program and start my internship.

This of course leads me to the last leg of my journey in Israel on Project Otzma: Jerusalem. I must say that moving into Jerusalem was somewhat of a culture shock for me. This city is unlike any other city I have lived in yet in Israel, and to be quite honest, the jury is still out on it. Most tourists love Jerusalem. This makes sense given that there is Ben Yehuda St., the Old City, charming Emek Refaim, the infamous King David Hotel, and lots of history to take in and see. Most people notice the crazy religious people here, but they don’t really get annoyed by them, maybe just more amused. The beggars on Ben Yehuda St. are there, but they don’t really annoy you because you only run into them once or twice. People also love Jerusalem because of the quiet that pervades the city on Shabbat: everything closes, traffic slows down, everyone is out walking to shul and saying Shabbat Shalom to everyone.

The irony of all of these reasons that I just listed is that these are the reasons that I have a problem with Jerusalem. I’m not sure if it is because I lived in Tel Aviv previously, which is not religiously driven but more Zionistically driven, but Jerusalem and I do not get along. I really get annoyed and agitated by the religious people that are here. I feel a little bit more oppressed in this city than I do anywhere else because of the presence of the religious. I try to cover my shoulders a little bit more, make sure my pants are not as tight-fitting, and generally pay more attention to how I present myself to protect myself from being harassed by a Haredi (one of the black hat religious) man at his whim. Now maybe you guys are laughing and thinking to yourselves that perhaps this newfound conservative dress isn’t such a bad thing, but I personally hate it. The religious also can be some of the most pushy, obnoxious people at the shuk or on the bus, and I have really grown to resent their rude nature to anyone who isn’t living in their century. Besides this, I feel like the religious represent so many of the problems that exist here in Israel, so a large part of me is just agitated whenever I see them. I have become really good at recognizing fake hair from real hair, and I give kudos to the religious that are able to dress well given their restrictions, but other than that I hate that there are still Jews stuck in the far past. I know I am sounding rather harsh here, but this is honestly how I see these people. I think this change came somewhere from my understanding of the way the State works, and how much the religious rely on taxes from the government and nothing else to live, and still manage to control immigration and marriage laws that really just anger me in general. I obviously take these feelings and superimpose them on every religious person I see, but I just can’t help it.

I usually don’t spend Shabbat in Jerusalem. I am convinced that the reason everyone goes to shul on Shabbat is because there is nothing else interesting to do. There are times I want to go to shul, and I stay in Jerusalem for that, but if I want to do anything else other than pray, I go to Tel Aviv. For the Shabbat observant person, this is the perfect city. For me, it isn’t. The way I like to spend Shabbat usually starts with my favorite sushi bar, and then to one of my favorite bars for some white wine and the rest of the Israelis in the city. That is what I call “a day of rest.” In Jerusalem, the Shabbat crowd is much smaller and less fabulous, so I prefer to be in my home in Israel.

Besides this, Jerusalem has a different culture than Tel Aviv. The city’s weather is windier, less humid, and more unpredictable. The winters here are incredibly wet and cold, and usually last until about the end of April. The city is also based on a bunch of hills, and I feel like it is much less convenient to walk from point to point here. For these reasons, people are more like homebodies and less likely to go walking around. There are not trendy streets to window shop at, and malls to roam around. There are only hills and religious people. That is it. On nice days people hang around certain areas like Emek Refaim, the German colony with restaurants and cute little shops, or Ben Yehuda Street with all the Judaica stores, but other than that they are inside. Boring. Not my style, and therefore not my kind of city. I knew I was going to miss Tel Aviv so much when I left, but I had no idea I would miss it the way I do now.

For this particular track, I intern every day in Jerusalem at the American Joint Jewish Distribution Committee, or JDC, in the Russian department. In my department, I hear Russian, Hebrew, and English all day long, sometimes even in the same conversation. The JDC itself is an amazing organization, huge, in fact. Their work spans all over the world, helping impoverished Jews to get the services they need like health care, food, and warm homes during the winters. This is particularly important for the department I work in, where the Russian winters are extremely cold. I will be honest in that my actual work is pretty boring, but I like the people I work with so it isn’t too bad. I have just basically reinforced what I already knew, that the non-profit world is not for me. I want to make the money, and donate it. After they have the money, they can do whatever they want with it. This is my new attitude.

And so I conclude my enormous update on my life. My current project is planning my trip to Europe, which is turning into a really complicated puzzle that I am trying to tackle, but I am optimistic it will turn out great. As soon as the details are completed, I will certainly post them. I also feel the need to recommend Idan Raichel for any of you looking for new Israeli music. I just went to a concert of his band, and the show and music is really unique and ethnic sounding. I love it.

Signing off for now…

Parent's Visit and Pesach

2006-04-27T06:16:00.000-07:00

April 14, 2006
Ironically, it somehow became April and Pesach has already arrived. I am sitting here in my hotel room in Tel Aviv, overlooking the beautiful seashore with my brother beside me, and I am having a hard time realizing that time has passed so quickly. The weather has finally changed from winter to spring, and the country’s landscape is waking up. Green meadows with flowers cover the highways, and the trees are growing back their leaves. Israel is truly beautiful at this time of year, and I am happier than ever to be here to experience it.
I realize now how much has passed, and how much I have not been able to write about here. I’ve had some technical difficulties for the last two months, but luckily my memory hasn’t faded so much that I cannot write about them. I promise to catch you up, but I first want to talk about what is happening right now.

I picked my parents up on Sunday, three days before Pesach started in Israel. I have to be honest; it seemed surreal to see them in the airport. When I arrived at Ben Gurion Airport on Sunday, April 9, I knew that at that point it had been about 7 and a half months since I had last seen my parents and my brother. The truth is that I was really nervous to see them. Have I changed so much that they won’t recognize me? Even worse: have I stayed the same? The memory of our last meeting when I left California in August kept repeating in my head: my dad crying, my mom trying to withhold her tears, my brother of course standing tall and strong for them, and me sobbing as I gathered my things and checked into the plane. I knew that now they would see someone stronger, happier, much wiser about the ways of this culture, and I was scared how they would react to it. However, when I saw them, it was as if no time had passed between us. I was just happy to see them, and they were happy to see me. I felt strange as I was joining back into the Wheatley family unit, but something about it felt like home and comfortable. I felt so good to be back with my family.

The first three days we spent in Jerusalem, touring about the city, seeing the holy sites that exist there. My dad and brother’s reaction to everything was interesting; they have a curiosity for the ways of the country and the history embedded into everything that exists. I played “Tour Guide Tami,” and was quite impressed at how I knew what I was looking at most of the time. Rather than me explain in detail what we did each day, (I think I will let you ask my parents that), I would rather explain to you what I personally found interesting. First and foremost, I reentered into the world of Israeli tourism- the grossness of it all. I have to say that living here, I have learned to deal with swindling taxi drivers, slow hotel staff, Israeli restaurant food, and figuring out how to drive here. What do I mean about all of this? Well, let’s address the taxi drivers first, aka “the bane of my existence.” Okay, I am being dramatic, but honestly, I HATE taxis in this country. I never feel like I am getting a fair deal, and I am always scared for my life at one point or another. I felt bad having to expose my parents to the reality of dealing with these people, but we basically had no choice. They are the worst, especially in Jerusalem.

The first experience in a taxi that we had was coming home from the airport; boy, was that fun. My parents and I stuff all of our luggage into the trunk and backseat of this semi-old looking cab, and get in. We were crowded in the back seat, but we were fine, up until we start hitting traffic. Here’s the part of the ride where I start freaking out. We’re ascending up Route 1, the main freeway from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem, and there is a sign for Jerusalem pointing one way, and the hills area (the name is escaping me) that takes you through to the backside of the City. We go the other way, which I know will take us through the West Bank territories. Now, according to the cab driver, this is the quickest way to go at this time in the morning. I let him drive, without being probing, even though I am fully aware of what is happening the entire time, and try to take deep breaths to release the building anxiety I am starting to feel. So, we continue driving, and my mom notices a change in my attitude. I assure her that I am fine, even though I am not, and my dad starts noticing things. My dad asks me,“Tami, isn’t that…(The separation wall/fence) (Hamas flags)(Guard soldiers with guns)?” “Yes, Dad.” I interrupt him sharply. “Just relax.” I assure him. Luckily, I think my brother is seemingly unaware of the situation and my mom isn’t exactly sure what is happening. We continue driving and notice long lines of traffic on the other side. I think to myself, “Thank God that isn’t us right now. We are close.” All of a sudden, we are waiting in a line, too… My dad asks me again, “Tami, is this a …(checkpoint)?” Again, I interrupt him. Damn him for being intelligent. It’s true that the first experience I gave my parents was a little educational tour of the West Bank, a place I am not supposed to be nor do I want to be. Army checkpoints are set up all over the place, soldiers are standing guard from the hilltops above, and Arab villages like Ramallah surround us. All this too after me explaining time and time again to them how “safe” I feel in this country. I was incredibly pissed at the cab driver for not asking if this was our preferred route, and I felt guilty for putting my family so close to the West Bank. Not only are we on the road I don’t want to be on, we are going something around 30 miles an hour. I knew the car looked old when we got in, but when most Israeli cab drivers do their utmost to get to their destination as fast as possible, I knew there was a problem. The truth is that there hasn’t been much action on these roads, but with checkpoints and a slow car, I was still a bit nervous. On top of all of this, I had to release some of the coffee I had to drink earlier. Badly. I asked the cab driver in Hebrew how close we were, and if we could possibly stop in a bathroom. We were still in the middle of the West Bank, but I couldn’t wait. We finally get through the checkpoint, and the closest bathroom is a Port-o-Potty at the Checkpoint. I suck it up, get out of the cab, and go in the “bathroom.” I had relaxed significantly. The cab driver and I were best buddies after this, and I dropped all my anger towards him the second my bladder had been relieved. We made it through to Jerusalem, and after the driver explained to us that the car in fact was not his and he was going to a repair shop straight away, I felt much better. Oh the joy of cabs in Israel. I just reaffirmed why I prefer riding buses, even if they are considered “unsafe.” Cabs don’t seem that much better.

Besides all the touring my parents and I did, we had the chance to spend Pesach with family in Ashdod. Pesach in Israel was surprisingly nice. I say “surprisingly” because I really thought that Pesach would be like some sort of government-enforced holiday, with everything being kosher and religious. However, I found the holiday itself to be really nice. Everywhere had kosher for Pesach options, which I found to just make observing it much easier. The restaurants that couldn’t make the switch from unkosher to kosher just closed, and even restaurants that didn’t even bother at least had salads and matzah available. My parents and I were invited to my cousin Sylvia’s for the seder, and she had invited her husband’s brother’s family, her mother, and other family that I can’t remember. This seder was one of the funniest ones I have been to in a long time. You know that at least for Pesach, I tend to lead “serious” seders. I require careful reflection on our long history of Jews as slaves in Egypt through different sources and activities, and come away from the seder feeling like I have done something traditional and meaningful. Well, that was definitely not this year. This year all the Hebrew parts that we generally skip at home were read, in the fastest pace possible to expedite dinner. The men weren’t even reading, it was Marek’s two nieces. The only thing the men were doing them was nagging them to hurry up so we could eat. Needless to say, I didn’t feel like I actually experienced much of a Pesach seder, but I still had a really fun time. I felt like I experienced a non-traditional “Israeli” seder, and that was just what I needed.

After the seder experience, my parents and I headed into Tel Aviv and took a tour of Old Yafo and the artist’s shuk. We had dinner at my friend Gitit’s parent’s house in Herziliya, which was wonderful, and then headed up North for a day trip on Shabbat. We visited Ein Gev, a beautiful kibbutz on the Lake Kinneret and did a tour of ancient ruins called Susita. It was a beautiful day, and gave my parents a quick glimpse of the north of this country. The next day it was raining, so the plan to lay and relax on the beach had to be swapped for something more educational. I decided to take my parents to the house where Israel was declared a State, and the army museum on Rothschild St. After the Israel education, we took a stroll down Rothschild St, which has a lot of “old meets new” history, and then to Sheinkin St for a look at the boutiques and fashionable shops before heading to Mike’s Place on the beach for an afternoon snack. This basically concluded the trip for my dad and brother, and they headed out early the next morning to catch a plane home. For the rest of the holiday, I spent quality time with my mom in Tel Aviv at coffee shops and shopping. Unfortunately, the day my brother and dad left, a suicide bomber blew himself up at the Old Central Bus Station in Tel Aviv, which changed the mood of things that day. We were sitting at a coffee shop when it happened at a different part of the city. We found out about it when we returned to our hotel, about 15 minutes after it happened, and turned on the news to a picture of the site. Awful. After reacting to this, I took my mom out shopping because it was important for me that she saw how Israelis react to this situation. They continue on with their lives. They shop, eat at coffee shops, ride buses, and continue doing what they would have been doing before the bomb went off. I proved my case when I took my mom to Dizengoff mall, one of the most crowded areas in Tel Aviv, and it was buzzing with life as I had expected it would be. Again, this is not what you see on CNN. Israel is full of life that CNN doesn’t show; CNN is only interested in death. For the end of Pesach, my mom and I returned to Ashdod and met more family from Brussels. After the holiday, we returned to Tel Aviv and relaxed the last day she was here. On Friday, I took her to the airport bright and early, and sent her off on her plane back home. Weird. The time with my family came and went so fast, it is actually hard to believe they were even here. I missed them terribly, and was glad to see them, but also glad to return back to my “normal” life here.

More catch up blogs to follow. Check out my pictures also!

Departure from Tel Aviv and final Track 2 thoughts

2006-02-25T06:34:00.000-08:00

Well, again the time comes to say goodbye to another sight, another part of my program. I must admit that one of the hardest parts of this program is making connections to the place I am living in, and then being told to leave just as I start to become really comfortable. As you can already tell I am sure, this was the last week of Track 2 in Tel Aviv. On Thursday, my apartment was packed up and shipped off to a storage room in Jerusalem for the next three weeks. As ironic as it felt, I was sad to see my home at the Rosalind and Joseph Gurwin Sheltered Housing for the Elderly be dismantled and moved out yet again. At 23 years old, I never aspired to live in an old age home until the time for me actually came. However, after getting a taste of an old age home for three months, I have come to the realization that I can wait!! I was happy to bring a little light into the lives of these people for the short time I was there, and admittedly I think I might miss some of my new suitors who have come to know me as "Bubba" or "Barbi." I received my last rugalach delivery from the old man down the hall, and disappointed him by saying that I wouldn't need any next week because I wouldn't be there. I am ready to leave the Old Age home, but am happy that I at least have funny stories to tell from my living there.
I love Tel Aviv. I apologize to those of you who read my email as well, because I am going to repeat myself, but I need to express my love yet again for this city. I feel at home here, more than anywhere I have lived in Israel as of yet. Before even coming to Israel, I had heard that Tel Aviv isn't worth visiting exactly because it is just like any other city in the world: big, crowded, modern, not uniquely Jewish. After my time here, I would have to disagree with that. Tel Aviv is special. Why? Tel Aviv is a modern, hip city with a Jewish flare. Shops still close on Shabbat. The atmosphere is still quiet and you can still find a lot of kosher food and restaurants around town. The history of the founding of Israel is in this city. Where as Jerusalem represents much of our religious history, Tel Aviv has much of our Zionist history. David Ben Gurion's home is here. Israel's independence was announced here. The top businesses and industries have most of their headquarters here. I think Tel Aviv represents much of what our founding fathers dreamed of when they envisioned Israel: a modern, bustling town that is intrinsically Jewish because of the people that live here. Many people argue that because of the modernities that exist in Tel Aviv, it loses its Jewish character. I would ask them to experience the High Holidays in this city and ask them what they think afterwards. Coming from my liberal roots, another thing I love about this city is it's openness towards all kinds of people. There is a large gay community here, and this is the only place they feel comfortable living in Israel. There are many foreign workers that live here. Tel Aviv is starting to recognize that these people exist and are offering them social services. Beyond my fabulous life of movies, sports games, fancy sushi dinners, bar hopping, jazz clubs, and trendy coffee shops, I love Tel Aviv because of the vibe and character of the city.
I should also briefly mention where I have been living for the last three months. My old age home is located in the neighborhood "Hatikva." Whenever an Israeli asks me where I am living, they respond to me by saying, "It's like Harlem there!" Not quite. The People of Israel live in this part of town. It is filled with characters; from the little boys with the trendy bleached hair, to the old grandmothers hanging laundry out to dry. This neighborhood in Tel Aviv is where it all started. The houses are small and built on top of each other. The roads are unevenly paved, and the pseudo brick-flooring sidewalks give it a particularly ancient feeling. I love it here. This part of town also lives. Running through the middle of this neighborhood is a large street called "Etzel." One can buy anything and everything that one needs on this street. Etzel is home to many wonderful meat restaurants, and I have become addicted to the fresh laffah bread and fresh fruit juices you can buy on each street corner. The Hatikvah Shuk is also located right off of this street, making it the center of this neighborhood. I think that Etzel will be what I miss most from my neighborhood in Tel Aviv. Even though it is not as trendy and cool as the center of town, I always felt like I was home.
Beyond leaving all of this, I formed a strong bond at all of the places I volunteered. Honestly, I felt like I could have done more, but was always present and happy to be at the places I ended up. My last official day at Cafe Europa was hard. I had a really difficult time saying goodbye to these Holocaust survivors that I now feel so close to. When I was leaving, several of the survivors handed me their phone numbers and wanted to stay in touch while I was here in Israel and beyond. They even offered me a place to sleep for when I return back to visit Tel Aviv. This is the one volunteering that changed me as a person. It's true that we as Jews all have a connection to the Holocaust, especially existing in the generations that are still so close to it. However, for me, the Holocaust really was stories I read in books, pictures I saw, movies and documentaries, and the occasional survivor that I would feel obligated to go hear speak. Not saying that the Holocaust wasn't significant to me, because it was, but I just had such an abstract connection to it that in some respects I still didn't relate. This experience at Cafe Europa changed all of that for me. Slowly, as my time at this sight progressed, I developed relationships with these survivors and heard some of their stories, and the reality of this horrid event in history hit home. I never sought out stories from these people; that was never my goal of being at Cafe Europa. I always knew deep down that these people shared a common history, but that each of them has worked to grow beyond it. I was a part of their life now, and not of their dark past. Occasionally, however, my curiosity would overtake me and I would ask them what happened. I'll tell you one such story.
Shmuelik Mandelbaum had become one of my favorites at Cafe Europa. Each week he would come with a huge smile on his face, and we would always sit together and dance and talk. He kept asking me when I would be available so he could have a get together for people from Cafe Europa and Larry and myself. We finally made plans, and ended up at his house on a really cold, rainy day. Most people who were planning to come didn't due to the weather, which made the party more intimate. When I decided to leave at about 9PM, Shmuelik insisited to walk me to the bus stop and wait for my bus with me so I wouldn't be alone. So we walked, and talked, and ended up waiting at the bus stop for about an hour. During this time, I was asking questions about his life and eventually got to the topic of the Holocaust. Shmuelik was born in Poland, and when the war broke out he was about 13. He was deported, made one stop in Aushwitz, and then was sent off to a work camp. He learned to be a carpenter there, so he would be needed and not be killed ultimately. He was in the work camp when he was liberated. After that, he found his way into Italy and met up with other survivors of the war. They were in an underground plan to be smuggled into what was then Palestine. He ended up coming in on a British holiday, when they knew they Brits would be inebriated, and was snuck in on a small boating ship. He lived on a kibbutz in Nahariya, the far north, and trained on a kibbutz for the Hahagana. When the Independence Day War broke out, he fought to help establish the State of Israel. Ever since then, he has been living in Tel Aviv and has watched it grow into what it is now. I heard all of this while waiting for the bus.
This is really only one such story I have from my experience at Cafe Europa. I know that I have become a part of this living history of the Holocaust. It pains me to know that in 20 years from now, these people will be gone. It is my burden to never forget and pass along what I now know of these amazing people and their lives. I am planning to continue to visit Cafe Europa in my next track; Jerusalem is only 45 minutes away from Tel Aviv, but it won't be the same.
My other volunteering did not have quite as much substance, but I still developed strong connections with the kids I worked with and enjoyed the things I did. Unfortunately, my last day tutoring English was cancelled, so I wasn't able to say good bye to Nivin who I had been working with at Hassan Arafe. I hope that she enjoyed working with me in the same way I enjoyed working with her. She really was a lovely, cute girl and I loved watching her master concepts that we had worked on in English. At Golumb school, I became attached to the soccer crowd. I will miss being claimed by whoever saw me walking around the corner first, and impressing the kids with my soccer skills. They had such a hard time believing that a girl like me could play soccer well, and they reminded me about how I love sports with kids and being competitive! I might get back into that when I come home, who knows. These kids really did start to look up to me, especially knowing that I was volunteering and from America. I will miss their curiousity, and miss them in general. And finally, the nursery at Kfar Shalem for at-risk kids. My experience here just made me wonder how anyone could treat these children badly. By watching the behavior of some of these kids, it was obvious that their parents didn't know exactly how to treat them. They are so innocent and sweet at birth, and I am saddened at the social problems that some of them were developing at such a young age. However, the environment they come to every day is warm and loving, so I was happy to be a part of that while I was there. The babies started to recognize me, and I absolutely became attached to many of them. I guess they were good temporary subsitutes for my baby cousins at home that I miss so much!
All in all, Tel Aviv was amazing, and fabulous, and I am heartbroken to leave. I will always have a special place in my heart for this city. However, off I go to the army tomorrow morning! More to come next weekend...

Part 2, Finally, and more...

2006-01-30T12:33:00.000-08:00

I actually took notes on what I wanted to write about, since I really don't want to forget a thing that has happened. However, the ironic thing in Israel is that even though my notes are pretty recent, only a week old, I look back at them and they seem outdated. So much can happen in a week here, and I sometimes feel like time flies so fast that I can't even keep up with it. Anyway, if I don't do justice to everything I write about, I apologize and promise to explain in person or via email anything that you have questions about.
Firstly, Hanukkah back in Israel was beautiful and festive. I had to high-tail back to Jerusalem after flying in from Paris to attend a seminar on Israeli Politics and Society, and thus, spend much of my holiday listening to lectures and taking tours of the country. Hanukkah is a minor Jewish holiday, something most American Jews don't realize. The holiday mood is created basically by hanging more lights all over the State, especially in Jerusalem since that is the setting of this historical event we are remembering, and serving fried foods to commemorate the oil that lasted 8 days (mostly by fried jelly donuts called sufganiyot that dont' have much jelly inside) at every bakery. However, the gift exchange that is so anticipated by Jewish youth in the States certainly does not occur here. I am convinced now that Hanukkah, the way I grew up celebrating it, is the creation of the American Jewish community, and is celebrated that way as a reaction to the Christmas season in America. Before I divulge the details of my seminar, I need to comment on one more thing. I also experienced the secular new year in Jerusalem during Hanukkah. In Israel, they call it "Sylvester," named after a Catholic saint. "Sylvester" actually is a reference to a man who ruled within an area in Israel and actually was a terrible tyrant. The day that he died, or was killed, I'm not sure of the story, was on the secular new year, so Israelis basically commemorate his death on this day. Hence, the holiday of "Sylvester." Another thing, since this isn't the Jewish New Year, it just happens to be another night where Israelis go out and drink with friends, and do a little countdown at midnight. That is it, though. The holiday is nothing here compared to the States, which certainly messes my internal clock up; I have only just made the adjustment to writing the year 2006 on things.
The Hanukkah seminar lasted for 5 full days, covering almost every sort of political struggle that Israel is dealing with currently. The truth is that terrorism is just one issue that Israel deals with in the Knesset regularly. What CNN doesn't report about this country is that there is one of the largest gaps between rich and poor here, and it is growing. The fights between the religious and the secular actually are one of the most intense, heated discussions where the results really affect the common man on the street. The education system is getting worse. Israel has problems. These problems are argueably just as important as the security situation here, however are not reported on the news or focused on by the US government. The religious versus secular argument has been one that has surprisingly intrigued and impassioned me very much so, because I believe it extends far and wide across the political spectrum, and the outcomes of these fights affect more than a person on the outside would be able to see. Briefly, in Israel there is no separation between church and state. This is obvious, right, because Israel is the Jewish State. Therefore, Jewish rules and laws from the Torah govern the land. Right. But who's Torah are we talking about here? Are we talking about the Conservative and Reform Torah, or are we talking about the Orthodox Torah? Well, as I'm sure most of you have guessed, we are talking about strict, Orthodox, halachic (meaning laws given by God) laws that rule the land of Israel. When the State was founded, ironically by secular Zionists who wanted a safe-haven for the Jewish people, most domestic laws were handed over to the Orthodox Rabbis to handle. So, you may think, "Okay, fine. So what if we go back to the traditional laws that governed our people for generations? So what if we let the Orthodox handle the laws of marriage, divorce, conversion, run religious sites, and immigration? What is the big deal?" Well, folks, the big deal is this: the Orthodox really only make up about 10 percent of the entire Jewish population that exists anymore. This means that for you and me, who don't wear a black hat and want our own Reform rabbi to perform a marriage, it can't be done here in Israel, the State for "all the Jews." I still find it ironic that the law in the US allows me, as a Reform Jewish woman, to have more power and more freedom to practice Judaism how I choose that I do in a Jewish country. The US was founded on the basis of religious freedom; ironically, that is not quite the case here. The details of rules that the Orthodox have controlled affect more than just social issues here. It is true that if a woman wants to get a divorce in Israel, she must have consent by her husband. This is based on the rules of a "get," or religious divorce, derived from the Talmud, and is upheld by the courts here in Israel. However, if she does not get that consent, and therefore approval from the Beit Din (the court of law), she cannot remarry or restart her life again. This, of course, is a huge problem which has sparked the birth of many legal agencies suing for the rights of these women, but exists only in a State where religion and the state are together. Inseparable. The morality of a situation such as this plagues the depths of my belief in basic human rights, and forces me to look at the implications of a State where such religious laws are enforced. In a Jewish State, is the separation of "temple" and state better? I don't know... However, I believe this struggle extends even further, to how the Israeli government has decided to deal with the issue of the settlements.
I just finally finished the book, From Beirut to Jerusalem, by Thomas Friedman. For anyone interested, I recommend this book highly to give you insight into some of the key Israeli and Arab political leaders, and an important history of what happened in this region from the Lebanese war up until he Oslo Accords (the famous handshake between PLO President Yasir Arafat and Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin in 1993). However, I mention this book because Friedman discusses the increase of the settlement movement into the hills of Judea and Samaria quite a bit, and I found the points he touched on quite intriguing. The quick story, as I understand it, goes like this. After the 1967 war, Israel ended up with land in the desert of Sinai, Egypt, the Golan Heights of Syria, and the hills of Judea and Samaria of Lebanon. Sinai was given back to Egypt after a peace treaty was signed with Anwar Sadat. Israel has had peace with Egypt ever since. Even now, people talk about using the Golan Heights as a barganing chip for peace with Syria. However, the Golan has been developed with beautiful wineries and kibbutzim and other establishments that have made that area integral to Israel, and I doubt that it would ever be bargained for peace. This leaves Judea and Samaria. Many stories from the Torah are set in this terrain. The story of David and Goliath comes to mind, where David had to walk down a hill to approach Goliath in his city down below around the settlement of Gush Etzion. Sarah and Rachel (I'm not exactly sure about Leah) are buried in these areas, too, around the settlement of Kiryat Arba, next to the Arab city of Hebron. So, one cannot argue that Jewish history did take place in these areas, many thousands of years ago. However, currently speaking, and I will probably mess up these numbers, there are about 300,000 Jewish settlers living in these areas right now. There are about 2 million or more Arabs living in these "disputed territories," as they are referred to, right now.
In 1967, Israel did not originally plan to keep this land full of Palestinians stuffed in refugee camps, with no place to go. They couldn't give these people in these new lands citizenship, because that would threaten the Jewish majority of the State, but they also didn't have a solution of what to do with them. So, since there was no plan or solution on how to deal with this new people, whom Israel didn't want to keep, I must add, the decision was simply indecision. This is where all the problems started. The bottom line is that we now have Jewish settlements on top of Arab cities, staring them in the face, with their only protection being the Israeli army. I can tell you that on one of my site visits during the seminar, we took a trip up to an area right next to Hadera, a city in Israel that fell victim to several terrorist attacks during the intifada, to take a look at the Green line, the Fence, and the proximity of the Jewish settlements to the Arab cities. Scary. I've always thought that it was a crazy idea to live among people that don't want you there (aka the Arabs) and put Israel in a position where it can be labeled as delegitimate, or as "occupier". The recent departure from Gaza gave me some hope, but seeing the situation that exists in these other areas is truly disheartening and infuriating. Let me try to explain to you in words what I saw. One of the largest Arab cities, highly developed with housing and architecture, is located about a mile, maybe, next to two different Jewish settlements. You can see them when you are standing, looking out at the hills. Above these settlements, is another bustling Arab town, and another, and another. I couldn't believe my eyes. I just cannot get into the mentality of someone who would want to build a life in such a place. The implications of living in a Jewish settlement like this are huge, for your family as well as for the State of Israel. Most important, Israel is responsible for the safety and security of all its citizens. This means that whenever someone decides to leave the settlement, for any reason, they must have an army escort. This also means that they must have the army guarding the settlement, assuring that there are no attacks from its' intimate, close neighbors. This means that the common Israeli who lives in Beer Sheva might have to send his 18 year-old kid who just joined the army to defend a crazy settler going to the supermarket in a big city. That's fair, right? I think I can safely say that the majority of the people who live in the hills of Judea and Samaria believe that they have a historical and religious right to live there. This would be fine and dandy if this didn't impose on their neighbors, who outnumber them and don't really want to play fair or care about their historical claims to the land. Due to their zealousness, this makes the problem much more sensitive, and the solution even harder. I have come to the conclusion since I have been here that the pictures on CNN and the news reports that come out cannot possibly capture what really goes on in these areas. I don't believe anymore that the common Palestinian wants me dead, I just believe he wants the opportunity to live a normal life, and that Israel's presence makes that impossible most of the time. CNN wouldn't report that "Today nothing happened in Israel. That's right, folks! The sun was shining, the stores were full of people, and life is better than ever!" That is boring. No one wants to hear about how great the produce looked in the shuk today, or how amazing the Miri Misika concert was last night. They want bombs, conflict, gun shooting, you know, stuff that seems so scary that you would never imagine setting foot on this illegitimate land of the Jews. In my personal opinion, the land of the Jews is beautiful, worthwhile to experience and live. We need to remind these settlers to come back to the land of the Jews, the land where the Jews are the majority and we might want to kill each other, but not in the same way as their neighbors do in Judea and Samaria. Judaism is a religion of people with deep historical ties, but has never been a religion of people blinded by the stories of the past. We were forced out of the ghetto long ago, and can no longer afford to live with blinders on our eyes. So, I finish my little history lesson/ new outlook after the seminar just by reminding everyone, including myself, yet again that Israel does not have it all figured out yet. But, I think and I hope, we are working on it.
Whew! That part was longer than I thought, but I want to keep going if you are all still with me...
Okay, things to remind me to tell you about in person because I can't gather the strength to write it all:
Ariel Sharon- a quick note. This sucks. I was honestly scared when I woke up with a text message on my cell phone saying that Ariel Sharon had been medically put into a coma. I could feel the intensity around the country. Everyone had news blaring, and this was the topic of conversation. At this point, I haven't heard much talk of him returning to his post. I personally think it is impossible, and I think most people would agree. Ironically speaking, I was in a political lecture about a week prior to his brain and heart explosion, and the speaker mentioned that if something happened to Ariel Sharon, there would be a huge mess in the upcoming elections. Funny, huh? The deal is that Sharon left the Likud party, of which he has been a member since there was a State, and started a new political party, Kadima. Since this is a new party, he had the sole discretion to choose who would be on the party's election ticket. Since he is physically unable to choose the order of his new party's ticket, this presents a hugh legal problem. As it stands now, Ehud Olmert (who moved with Sharon to Kadima) is first in line and acting Prime Minister, but from then on who knows what will happen...
Recent bombing in Tel Aviv- Yes, I knew where it happened. Was I scared? A little. I was more pissed off than anything, though. I happened to be in my apartment when I heard about the explosion, and everyone I know was fine, but damn it, why do they keep doing this? These piguim, as we call them here, are just so pointless and accomplish nothing except getting publicity. I have concluded that at this point, that is all they are, publicity stunts. I'm sick of them scaring me and injuring my people, and I refuse to let them get in the way of my life. I went out on the town that night, and rode a bus as my way of giving the middle finger to those people.
Almost done- Last week, I went to a concert of Miri Misika, who is one of the big time Israeli pop stars at the moment. It was fabulous! The venue was a really cool bar in upper Tel Aviv, which is one of the most affluent parts of the country, and was relatively small so I could actually see her singing up close. Another thing, she wasn't a tiny stick figure of a person like most pop stars in America. Truth be told, I would have suggested that she wear another dress than the one she chose, but she looked like a normal human being and had a killer voice. This was very refreshing, especially since I only spent about $23 American dollars to see her. Fabulous.
Soccer Game- Yesterday, I went to a professional soccer game for the first time. I had a great time, but can honestly say that getting into the stadium was the most unsafe I have ever felt here in Israel. Why? Well, basically the pushing and crowding of trying to enter the stadium not only made me claustrophobic, but uncomfortable. However, after getting in, I really enjoyed watching the sport live, and staring at the hot hot hot Israeli players. In the end, Maccabi Tel Aviv won 2-0, so I was happy.
That is it. Whew, I am tired.

Christmas in Paris, Hanukkah in Jerusalem, Sylvester, and Everything After… Part 1

2006-01-09T11:33:00.000-08:00

So, the blog you all have been waiting for. I have been relatively busy, if you exclude last week, since I returned from break and the holiday, so that has been the delay in the recent update. The good news is that my roommate had her parents bring her laptop, so I can actually blog without paying for it. Time is money, so they say in the internet cafes, so I can now write more thoroughly without going broke! I know you are just as excited as I am.

Enough with the sarcasm, Paris was beautiful. I arrived at Charles De Gaulle airport on December 22 at about 9:30PM, as planned, and was met in the airport by Michael. Strangely enough, I felt like no time had passed between us, and it was just wonderful to have the opportunity to be with him once again. I was expecting to be blown over by some piercingly cold wind when I walked outside the airport to get to the car, but I was pleasantly surprised to find that I was sufficiently bundled up in my hat, gloves, and scarf. Phew! One of my biggest fears going to Paris in winter was literally freezing to death, ironically nothing concerning heartache, and so I was very happy when the weather indicated that I would be just fine in the clothes I had prepared. Anyway, I promised my aunt that I wouldn’t expose all the details of my Paris romance, because a girl has to guard some things that only she knows, but I certainly will give you some highlights.

My first impression of Paris was awe. I experienced quite a culture shock, because not only was I not in Israel but I also was not with Americans. Therefore, the only English I heard was the random person on the street asking for directions, Michael and my conversations, and the movie that we saw in English. Since I don’t speak a word of French, I felt a little excluded from any sort of understanding of anything going on around me, which was frustrating and annoying at times. I also could not get over the magnitude of everything around me: the buildings, the roads, and the architecture. Everything just seemed so big, and it was at one of those moments that I realized how different everything outside of Israel feels. I know I said earlier that I was a little nervous about how I would feel outside Israel for the first time in months, and truth be told, I was dead on. I wasn’t in my country anymore, and even though my company was familiar, everything else seemed strange. The perfect example of this that I can give you happened on Christmas. Ironically, the first day of Hanukkah also happened to be the first day of Christmas in France, except there were no acknowledgements of Hanukkah save for the little Chabad sign lit up on Champs-Elysses. Michael and I ventured out on Christmas Eve, after Shabbat, to stroll Champs-Elysses, which was gorgeous. This street is lined with only the classiest stores like Cartier, Peugeot, Louis Vuitton, Mercedes Benz, etc, ad nauseum, ad infinitum, and was packed that night with people just strolling along the way. The trees sparkled with white lights, and green and red bows created the holiday spirit that filled the air. And, I forgot, the Arc de Triumph, built by Napoleon after one of his victories, stands grandly lit at the end of the promenade. The sight was just breathtaking. Here’s where the culture shock comes in… We woke up the next day, and Michael decided (I suppose with a little suggestion from me before) that we were going to Montemartre. I was a little confused about how we would actually arrive at Montemartre, since it was a holiday and I thought that none of the transportation would be working. Only then did I realize that only in Israel does the transportation not work on holidays. Everywhere else in the world, a holiday can actually feel like a normal day if you want it to, so we, as Jews, were able to go out and enjoy a pretty normal day in Paris. Strange.

Montemartre is in the northern part of Paris, and feels touristy, but quaint all at the same time. As we hiked up to the central part of the area, we were faced with the Sacre Couer, which sits atop the hill as the focal point of the scene. I didn’t actually walk inside the basilica, since it was Christmas, but the view from the steps of this building capture the incredible panoramic view. See my pictures (which will be posted soon, I promise) if you don’t believe me!! From there we just walked around, enjoying the artists trying to draw our caricatures and the random art galleries in the area. The next day, Michael and I ventured out to the Louvre, which I apparently pronounce incorrectly. For future reference, do not make the “ou” part of the Louvre with any sort of “u” in it. It is purely an “oo” sound, something I learned after mispronouncing it several times while Michael laughed at me. At the Louvre, I saw the Mona Lisa for the second time in my life, and was again unimpressed, and the Venus de Milo, which is still so stunning. A word about the Mona Lisa- for those of you who have never experienced it, you’re not missing much. The painting sits on a wall, which is generally crowded with too many people shoving to get a decent spot to actually see the painting. The reason people are shoving to see it is because it actually is a small painting, too small to take space and analyze it from a distance. The only interesting thing I can gather from this portrait is the smirk on her face. I have a feeling that the art critics of yore could just not figure out what the heck this not so beautiful woman was smirking about. This, in turn, drove them crazy, thus making the painting famous. This is my own analysis, don’t quote me on anything because I have absolutely no sources for this opinion, just my own cynical criticism of this work of art.

My final night and following day were, of course, my favorite. After recuperating from our long day at the Louvre, I had a night of lounging at a trendy bar in the Bastille area, sipping ice cold French white wine and savoring an apple tart with my gorgeous French man. Yes, the French do this scene right. To top it all off, while we were enjoying our time together, snow started falling outside. My first thought was “Shit, I am going to freeze!” After I got over that, I just watched the snowflakes fall slowly to the ground, and watched the cars and the sidewalk start to change from their colors to a fluffy, white. It looked like a scene from a winter Hallmark commercial that all of us in California generally laugh at because our winters at the beach just don’t get covered with snow the same way. The next day, we went to a central part of Paris, where you can see the Eiffel tower and other big sights, and went on the ferris wheel. The funny part of this outing was that when we left the apartment to go, the weather was bearable. However, literally the second we hopped out of the car to buy our tickets and get on the wheel, the snow started coming down faster than it had all day, and it was freezing! Even with my hat, gloves, scarf, and pea coat, I was freezing and our teeth were chattering while we called ourselves “stupid” the entire time we rode the wheel! The view from atop the wheel was amazing, especially with the freshly fallen snow, and I am happy my body thawed out enough so I could write this story down!

I took an early flight, and returned to Israel the next morning at 12PM after my five wonderful days in Paris with Michael. Needless to state, saying goodbye to him for the second time was awful and hard, but something I knew I had to do this trip. Men who cross my path in the future have much to measure up to, and I am so lucky that I had the chance to experience a relationship such as this. I still hate that he is gone, but I am happy to know that he is fine back in France and will be able to prosper and lead the life he deserves in the booming French economy. We did talk about the Jewish part of his life in France, which is extremely different, much less open, but I think he would say the French Jews have learned how to deal with it. He told me that the society cannot take away the traditions they create in their homes, which he personally demonstrated to me through his Shabbat and Hanukkah observances. I hate the fact that even today, there are societies that are not accepting of Jews, that we are still viewed as the “other” and as threat to societies in which we reside. However, I know that this is not something new for us, but something that we, as Jews, have adapted to our entire existence. This is yet again history repeating itself. The French Jews are dealing with this reality in the best way they can. Due to their bravery and courage to live Jewish lives in the face of anti-semitism, Jewry will continue to thrive and prosper in the French diaspora. I’m sure Michael will meet someone there who can make him happy; I just hope it takes him a little bit of time. ;)

To be continued...

Almost Hanukkah Vacation...

2005-12-19T10:00:00.000-08:00

I realized that after my last blog, I sounded a little bit depressed and like I was trying to write something meaningful and important, instead of letting it flow naturally like I usually do. The truth is that I was trying to look on the sunny side of things because I was a bit sad that day, but things are looking up. Firstly, I was waiting for some kind of internal change to happen within me, where I would start to feel satisfied in what I have been doing this track, and it is happening. I am starting to form real relationships with people I have met, whom I interact with every week at the same time and place, and have really been enjoying myself. I had a particular moment yesterday, when I was sitting at a table that has been designated mine, with one of the Holocaust survivor's I met, Yehuda, and just realized how lucky I am and how special my time here is. Yehuda came to Israel after the war at the age of 7. I haven't actually heard his entire story yet, but he always talks about this man, John Gordon, who he met during a trip to Los Angeles who is also a Holocaust survivor. He desperately wants me to meet John when I return to the states, and speaks highly of him every time we meet. Yesterday, Yehuda brought pictures of his family and his trip to LA with him to Cafe Europa. There were scenes from Universal Studios, Disneyland, the Crowne Plaza Hotel, and a the other Cafe Europa that meets in LA. He also showed me a picture of his wife when she was in her twenties. I just kept thinking to myself that he was letting me into his life. Actually, I am now a part of his life, and most likely I might be creating a memory that will last him the rest of his life also. I know he certainly is doing that for me. I just am so happy that I get to meet with them week after week, and I actually am starting to hope that my internship ends up being in Tel Aviv so I can continue coming to Cafe Europa.
This leads me to my next thought... I have been evaluating myself a lot lately. I just have been analyzing what I enjoy, what I am good at, what I try at, and what I give up on. I'm coming up with some interesting answers. Primarily, I know I am good with people. The truth is that I didn't have much experience with working with all age groups until I came to Israel and started volunteering here. I actually love working/hanging out with senior citizens, babies, kids, teenagers, and adults. I find it challenging to connect with them on a certain level, but once I figure out the repoire with them, I feel really good about my ability to work. I am initially shy at first. I know, that sounds crazy, but it is true! I generally find myself checking out a situation before really diving into it. For better or for worse, that is how I deal with new situations and new people. I find more intimate settings more comforting, but I also am very outgoing with a large group of people I know and am comfortable with. I am beginning to trust myself, more than anyone anymore, which doesn't mean I don't take advice, but means that my gut reaction is usually right for me. I am comfortable in my own skin now, which feels really good, and I feel like I have much to offer the world, as long as I find the right outlet to do so. I don't think I will actually ever be good at music, as much as I dabble in it, because I just don't have the patience to practice for hours on end. This doesn't mean I don't love it, but it means that possibly I won't ever reach the potential that I have in that field. And, I am adventurous, even though all my risks are actually calculated. I love love, and I believe that one day I will find that person who will be my partner in crime, whenever that is destined for me. I actually don't think I have much control over when that will happen, although I wouldn't mind if it came sooner rather than later. I love my family and my friends so much, and being away has actually only made me realize how integral they are in my life. I'm not sure what all of these self-realizations amount to just yet, but I am getting ideas. I don't want to come off as self-centered, but this year has been a lot about discovering myself and I wanted to share what I have come up with thus far.
So, I am on to my French getaway on Thursday, and I am really excited... I spoke with Michael before Shabbat, and he is planning to pick me up from the airport when I land and this will begin my Paris adventure. When we were discussing plans, he said "We will just be like 'tayerim' (tourists in Hebrew)," which means I will be busy when I am there! I am interested to see what has changed there since I was there last, and how the spaghetti sauce actually tastes (Dad, that joke was for you). Honestly, I am ready for a little break from Israel, some new scenery and some French wine, chocolate, and pastries. I will take lots of pictures, so not to worry, you won't miss a thing! And, I hope to have some French romance stories too... :)

Tel Aviv Update

2005-12-10T08:56:00.000-08:00

Well, I haven't written in a while basically because my internet access is much less in Tel Aviv. I haven't found a place close to where I live with access, so I try to check email twice weekly and find some more significant time once a week to write. Last week I was just too tired to try and make conclusive thoughts in a blog entry, so I decided to wait.
Shabbat has just ended here in Tel Aviv. I decided to stay in Tel Aviv this Shabbat, and some of my friends joined me here for the weekend. It was wonderful, and refreshing. I realized that I still truly am adjusting to the new atmosphere I am living in here. I am also still finalizing my schedule, where I am volunteering, trying to find a routine, and it is slowly happening... I have a lot of free time here right now. In fact, for me, I have too much free time. I really feel like this track I wanted to be working full time, and it just hasn't worked out like that yet. I feel myself wanting to put in significant time, to make significant differences in the lives of those around me, but am a little frustrated at the choices I have been given. Here is what I do:
Sunday: Free morning, volunteer at Cafe Europa (which I will explain in a bit) from 3:00-7:00PM
Monday: Ulpan 8:15AM-11:45AM, Volunteer at the local elementary school from 3-4:30PM
Tuesday: Free morning, teach English 1:15-2:45PM, Jaffa Institute 3:30-6PM.
Wednesday: Ulpan until 11:45AM again, local elementary school 'til 4:30PM again, volunteer at the place I am living 4:30-6PM
Thursday: Volunteer at the day care center for endangered kids 9-12:30PM

And that is basically my week thus far. I still am trying to work in other things, but for now that is what my life looks like. The good news is that I live in Tel Aviv, and there are plenty of things to do and people to see. The not so good news is that there are less people to do it with. I love some of the new Israeli friends I have met, but there aren't enough of them yet. Just give me time though.

Every Sunday night, I spend about 2-3 hours with Holocaust survivors. However, I don't spend time with them at a museum, or a lecture, but instead I drink coffee, listen to music, and two-step with them every week at Cafe Europa. I know I have mentioned this in previous blogs, but this is something truly amazing and worthwhile for me to be participating in every week. All of the survivors speak fluent Hebrew. They have crazy hair colors, crazy love triangles, and each one of them smiles through the warmth in their eyes. These are some of the most amazing, inspiring people I have met thus far. I had a realization the last time I was there, sipping coffee and eating rugalah with one survivor. He was asking me where I have been around Israel, what I have seen thus far, and then proceeded to add to things I need to make sure I see. I was suddenly struck by the fact that this man couldn't speak about anything like this 60 years ago. 60 years ago he was a boy, living in Poland, whose whole life was about to change for the worst by no fault of his own. He was speaking to me in Hebrew, and language that just was starting to be resurrected at the time of the Holocaust, and telling me about these places that are his own now. This was one experience. The first time I was at Cafe Europa, I was being taught the two-step by a survivor named Shlomo. He made it through Aushwitz because he could play the harmonica, and the Nazis liked to hear him play so they let him live. He was telling me the story while we were dancing. I have only heard maybe two stories, and the truth is that I am not sure I fully understand each of them because I am listening to them in Hebrew. I know that each one of the people that walk into that room have a story, similar because they survived, but different in how they managed to do so. Their stories don't stop at the end of the war, and that is what amazes me. Each of these people picked up where they left off, not right away of course, but came to Israel and had families and lives after the Holocaust. Whenever I feel frustrated or discouraged, I remember these people who smile at me so brightly when I see them, are so happy that I am there dancing with them each week, and start to realize that whatever I am going through can't actually be that bad. I could not have had this experience anywhere else, and I might actually be the last generation to have an experience like this. One of my fears is that the memory of these people will pass when they do, and I am making a promise right now that they will never be forgotten.
So, one more quick thing, in less than two weeks I will have been here for four months. On the actual anniversary of my arrival in Israel, I will be leaving to go to Paris for my Hanukkah break! Truth be told, I am totally excited to go on one hand, and completely freaked out on the other hand. I am excited because I get to return to France as more of an adult than the last time I was there, and I am going to spend time with Michael who is living there now. I actually bought a guide book so I will know where I want to go and what I want to do, so I hope Michael is ready for me... On the other hand, I'm a little bit nervous about entering back into the secular world. Sounds funny, right, since I have lived in America my whole life, but is actually something that has crossed my mind quite a bit. I will be spending Christmas and the beginning of Hanukkah in France, a country that is apprehensive towards the Jews (not all the time but that sentiment certainly exists), and a country where I do not speak the language or really understand the culture. Basically, I am going back to being an outsider again, a stark difference from the four months that I have only felt like an insider here in Israel. I know there is something much deeper to this. I just feel myself here, like I can wear my Jewish star without being nervous and I see my traditions and holidays all around me. I have basically forgotten how to deal with living in the secular world and having to create a Jewish life for myself, because here it is already created for me. I know I don't look Jewish, believe me I have been told that plenty since I have been here, and my last name isn't Jewish. More than anything, I've realized my soul is Jewish, and here is the place that I feel it and can express it the most. I just think it will be interesting how I am going to relate to things, and what my reactions will be again to the rest of the world that is not Israel during my time in France. Thankfully, I will have Michael who will help ease me into this, but is is something that continually crosses my mind. I leave a week and 5 days from today, not that I am counting ;), on December 22.

Beer Sheva moves in to Tel Aviv!

2005-11-26T06:53:00.000-08:00

This week started Track 2 of Otzma, where everyone splits up into their Partnership 2000 (P2K) cities and volunteers full time there. My friends are all over the State at this point, in Migdal HaEmek, Kiryat Shmona, Kiryat Gat, Kfar Saba, Ofakim, Yokneam, Ramle, Rosh HaAyin, Haifa, Kiryat Malachi, and we are in Tel Aviv. We all packed the busses on Monday, a very rainy day in Jerusalem, said our goodbyes and then headed in whatever direction our cities were.
So far, it has been a very "interesting" experience. Not good, not bad, but interesting. Like I said before, I am living in Tel Aviv, specifically in Shckonat HaTikvah. Shchonat HaTikvah is one of the poorest neighborhoods in Israel, but still does not feel anything like what the poorest neighborhood in the States would feel like. I am living in a place entitled "Sheltered Housing for the Elderly," which sounds worse than it actually is. I live with Michelle Groisman, the other girl from Los Angeles, in a one-bedroom apartment with a tiny living room. The boys from LA, Brent Yarkin and Larry Mahler, live right next door in a similar apartment. We had a really cute moving in experience. The rain did not let up when we arrived in Tel Aviv, so all of us were carting boxed around the corner while it was pooring rain. I gave up trying to salvage my jeans from getting soaked on about the second round, and collectively we took about 15 trips back and forth from the bus. That wasn't the cute part. The cute part of the moving in process was the old people all standing there watching us come. Every time we would go back out the door, they would look puzzled at each other, and then at us and say "Yesh od masheho?" This means, "There's more??" They were all really happy we were there, welcoming us in Hebrew and telling us where they were located in the buildings. We saw them later again as we exited the building and I have a feeling that these people will become a regular part of our lives in Tel Aviv.
The next day, we investigated the area surrouding our new place. I will take pictures, but this truly feels like an Israeli city to me. There is apartment upon apartment, a random park situated in the middle, and then a main street with lots of kosher meat restaurants and other random shops. My favorite space so far is the shuk, which is very wide open and spacy, with a beautiful selection of vegetables and fruits to choose from! I was especially excited when I was able to buy fresh rye bread and fresh mint from the shuk. For those who don't know, I have become obsessed with mint here. I love it just with hot water and sweet and low, and have decided that I must grow a mint plant when I get back to the States! Okay, but off that tangent, we are living about 20 minutes away from the center of Tel Aviv, but not far enough to avoid the traffic! I think I am going to end up loving it here, but that is yet to be seen.
So, amidst moving into Tel Aviv, I still had to give that speech to the Education Department of the Jewish Agency on Wednesday in Jerusalem. I said thought it was Thursday, turned out it was actually on Wednesday. Anyway, I worked on my speech the night before in Jerusalem at my madrich Feivel's house for about 3 hours, and then slept over at Anat's house, my rakezet (coordinator), the night before the speech. I'll be honest by saying that I wasn't that nervous about it. The only thing I was nervous about was the content of what I was actually saying, and the length. I spoke to one of the people running the program two days prior, and she informed me that they wanted me to speak for 15-20 minutes! That was what scared me the most. Anyway, so I arrived at the place and there were about 55 or so people sitting in one crowded room. The room was set up with four chairs in a straight line in the front, and then everyone else facing us in rows. There was a video camera situated in the front middle, that was recording each of us as we spoke. So, I was on a panel with a guy from Havana, Cuba who came on a year long program in 1956-57. He ended up making aliyah, so he spoke in Hebrew about his experiences ad nauseam, ad infinitum. It was hard for me to look like I was interested when I really didn't know what he was saying and I was a little nervous that I was next to speak. So, after about a half an hour, it was my turn to speak. I had my entire speech prepared and nicely printed out on paper, but realized right at that point that I didn't want to stand up and read. So, I didn't. I used my paper as a guide, and just went on and on. It was nice for me because since I had it all written out, I knew the flow of my speech but I was also able to add in things and take out things as I saw appropriate. I told lots of stories of my journey in life and to Israel. I talked about being four years old and asking everyone I met if they were Jewish. I talked about college, cantorial school, and AIPAC. I talked about the amazing experiences I have had volunteering and living here. And that was basically it. Not to brag, but I was really happy with how it went and I even surprised myself at how comfortable I was speaking in front of that large group of strangers. Most of the Otzma staff was there, and they were all so complimentary to me and surprised I think that I was able to give a speech such as this, that I felt affirmed in what I had originally thought. And, not to be full of myself, but the director of Otzma called me two days later to tell me that she had been receiving compliments about me from people in the Agency, and that I should be aware of that. She asked if she could give my notes and picture to the guy who was running the program so he could use it for something. Anyway, I felt a very big sense of accomplishment after that and hopefully will take this experience with me into other public speaking opportunities I might have. I'll try to post what I said sometime in the future, but if I don't get to it I will at least keep my copy.
Finally, Thursday was Thanksgiving. Many of us from Otzma gathered in Kiryat Gat for a very large Thanksgiving dinner, with turkey and lots of potatoes. They don't have pumpkin stuff here, so we lacked everything pumpking about Thanksgiving but that is okay. It felt wonderful to be reunited with my friends and be able to celebrate the holiday with them, and I was so happy to be eating turkey at the appropriate time.
Right now I am in Ashdod, visiting Sylvia and Marek again. Stella also joined us for several meals this Shabbat. It has been great catching up with them, and I do truly feel like I have blood relatives here. Sylvia and I went through the bloodline, and she explained to me that my grandfather's father, Yehoshua (correct me if I am wrong) and her father's father, Rahamim, were brothers. That makes Sylvia and I third cousins. I am so interested to figure out where I came from! Okay, enough for now...

Zeho l'Beer Sheva v'hakol sham

2005-11-18T15:37:00.000-08:00

The title of this blog translates to "That's it for Beer Sheva and everything there." I actually did manage to move out my five boxes (all packed with newly accumulated things from Israel), guitar, and two huge bags down the stairs, out the door, and down the other set of stairs without a hitch. All of my things are currently sitting on a truck somewhere in Jerusalem. I actually had to write down what I had, so when I have to bring it to Tel Aviv on Monday, I won't forget anything. True Tami form. I finished teaching my kids at the high school on Tuesday. Michael also left on Thursday. That about brings my life in Beer Sheva to a close for now. The closing events at the Merkaz were lovely. We had a party for those of us that volunteered in the high schools, which featured a nice discussion about what we learned, lots of pizza, and a showing of a really cool Israeli movie called (A name I can't remember) goes to Jerusalem. We had a final party at the Merkaz with the staff that worked with us and food cooked for us by the Indian community that lives there. We had a little show for them, where some of us sang, danced, and others from the Merkaz performed something. I also have a really cool little henna design on my hand from the night too.
I said goodbye to Michael that night as well. Of course, it was really hard, but I think we both handled the situation as best we could. I am thinking about going to France over my break in December, but still contemplating if that is a good idea or not. Any advice?
On Wednesday, I packed up everything I owned and Thursday morning was putting it on the truck. After it was all loaded, I hopped on a bus to Tel Aviv to eat sushi with friends in a sort of recognition/celebration of my new single status and all of our new lives about to begin. To be honest, right now I feel really displaced and homeless. I am sitting at my host family's house right now, and starting to realize that I do not live in Beer Sheva anymore. I am not going to return there after Shabbat, as I have become accustom to doing. Forgive me if I repeat myself, but I'm not sure I ever really discussed what a day was like for me in Beer Sheva. Every morning, I would wake up at about 7:30AM to get ready for Ulpan classes at 8:15AM. I went to the first session of class starved, and when the first break came at 9:45, I would rush over to the bakery and grab a piece of chocolate rugalah and a little chocolate croissant. That always cost me 3 shekels. Right next to the bakery was the toast place, which is where I usually bought my coffee if I was getting something at the bakery. I would sit there during my break and talk to my friends, decompress about something, or read the newspaper. Michael and I used to sit there a lot too when he was taking Ulpan. At 10:15, or around there, I would return back to class for the next session. During the next part of class, I would contemplate what I wanted to eat for lunch, since two pieces of something chocolate and a coffee was never sufficient, but I loved it anyway. If I decided to cook myself, after class I would walk over to either the vegetable stand to pick up what I needed, or to the supermarket, or both. If I was just too lazy that day to make lunch (which was the case many times), I would walk back to the toast place and order either a toast on a bagel or a baguette. This is probably one of my favorite meals in Israel. So good. This routine happened about every day. On Thursdays, I would try to get up early and go to a different coffee stand run by this adorable French couple. Their coffee came from a machine, but tasted so good, and I was able to buy English newspapers there for the bus ride. I went to this stand a lot too when I wanted to just grab a quick cappuccino to go. I really am going to miss them. So, after I ate lunch, I would either decide to sleep because I did not sleep well the night before, or I would go volunteer at either the high school, or coach latet. Truth be told, I also went to the mall to "study," and after reward myself with something new. I won't have as much time to do that this track, so hopefully I got it out of my system. After my afternoons were finished, my friends and I would either go back to sit at the coffee shop, or head out to one of the many bars in Beer Sheva. Beer Sheva gets a bad wrap, but when school is back in session and you are my age, it is a pretty fun place to be. If I had to choose a favorite bar, Pablo would be the one. I liked it because it played some fun music, and served great beer with beer quotes all over the bar. My dad's kind of place. So, that is it for Beer Sheva. I'm going to miss it, and it certainly will be a big adjustment, but now is the time to start the process.
I know I have been so focused on other things that I forgot to tell you that I was asked by the director of Otzma to give a little speech to a group at the Jewish Agency this coming Thursday. The theme is something like "Generation to Generation," and they are bringing someone who did an Israel program a while ago to speak, someone in the middle, and then me. I am feeling the pressure a bit, just because I want to give a real analysis of my life here and my purpose. I am extremely flattered that they asked me to speak, so I also do not want to disappoint those who believe in me. I am going to do a bit of brainstorming here, so if you have suggestions for me, please email me to let me know!
I know why I came here. I am trying to remember the moment in which I knew that I needed to be here in Israel now more than ever, but I'm not exactly sure that it was an exact point. Israel became more of a process for me. I recently had the realization that I think about Israel every day of my life, which is so much more than many Jews do in the US. Of course I think about Israel now, because I live here, but this was something that happened even before this program. Last year when I worked at AIPAC, my boss led me to believe that everything I did was in the name of Israel. Everything. Every way I spoke to a donor, checked my work, took a reservation, whatever, it all affected Israel. I'm not sure that I would consider every little thing I did as truly affecting Israel, but I understood his point. I was forced to consider the implications of a media that was so cruel and biased, countries with people whose sole mission is to terrorize and destroy everything and anyone here, pending disengagement which caused a huge rift in the country, and combating terror on a daily basis. On top of all the external challenges, this country still had to deal with a diminishing economy because of regular terrorist attacks and fear instilled into people here. As I sat in my desk, day in and day out, staring at the picture of Masada, being reminded of the Jews sacrifice at that spot to determine their own destiny to die as Jews, reading the news daily, it occured to me that I couldn't experience this from across the world. I had to be there. I had to see for myself how resilient the Israelis are through all this. I had to know and feel their determination to sustain a homeland that they are protecting, and yet belongs to all the Jews of the world. I had to taste Israeli culture, and experience life here as a normal person. I had to get off the tour bus, and get on to a different one to see what life really is like here in Israel. And I had to help. I had to be able to tell my children, when I have them, that didn't just write a check to help Israel, but I did something about it. I tried the best I could also to make this State what is should be. So I came. And now that I am here, my life has changed in startling ways.
I live in a real Jewish state. My week goes from Sunday to Thursday, and I experience Shabbat every week in some form. Whether experiencing Shabbat means I get frustrated because there are no buses and I want to go somewhere, or having a nice Shabbat meal with friends or my host family, I still live Shabbat every week I am here. The same applies to the chagim. I finally exist in a place that recognizes how I have always felt on the inside. On Yom Kippur, my family and I are not the only ones fasting and praying for forgiveness, but an entire State stops and does the same because we are the same people. The second week I arrived, I checked my email at a local hotel with a friend in Beer Sheva. A man approached us, dressed as a religious Jew, and started to ask in Hebrew if he could check his email. We had no idea what he was saying. In true Israeli form, he switched to English, since he was from Philadelphia after all, and informed us that he had just been kicked out of his home in Gush Katif and hasn't been able to check his email for a week. I was in shock. I felt like I had met a celebrity. I had watched the disengagement happen on tv in the States, and now I actually met someone to whom disengagement was his reality, not just a news story. I came to the realization that in Israel, history can smack you straight in the head when you least expect it. I met someone who went through one of the most painful, political processes Israel has suffered through, all because he wanted to check his email.
The face of an Israeli has changed for me. I lived in the Merkaz Klitah for 2 months where there were new Jewish olim from Russia, South America, India, and France. I know that in other Merkazeh Klitah there are Ethiopians. The face of an Israeli is no longer just someone who speaks really fast and can be quite pushy at times, but a person from anywhere in the world who has decided to make a life for himself here. At the high school where I taught English, each kid proved to me that they have such amazing potential to contributen to the State. The kids in my class are from all over the world, each with different backgrounds: from Morocco, Ethiopia, Argentina, India, Russia, Israel, and I am sure I am missing somewhere else. Together, these kids are the future of this State, all with a common destiny to serve after high school, and beyond that, potential that can reach the sky. I am extremely confident that if the kids in Israel are like the ones I was so fortunate to spend time with, our State is in good hands.
And finally, I have been exposed to some of the ugly parts of this State. After taking a tour of the periphery towns, I realized that this certainly is not Jewish Disneyland, and we still have lots of work to do. There are challenges to creating a State that protects and sustains the Jewish people, and does the same for the others that happened to be here when the State arose. Israel is still young. Israel knows that she has problems. The first step to alleviate a problem is to know it exists, so I hope we will start working more seriously to fix the problems at home. After that, I will truly feel as if we are living in the land of milk and honey and prospering as we were meant to when Theodore Herzl thought of this reality called Israel.

Wrapping it all up...

2005-11-14T04:11:00.000-08:00

Well, time to go. I arrived in Beer Sheva a little over two and a half months ago and my time here is coming to an end. Beer Sheva has been good to me. I feel like I have eased my way into Israeli culture, although I am still very much an outsider, through becoming familiar with this small city. The more I think about it, the more I really am going to miss the Gesher, where I do all my grocery shopping and eat lots of toast (not like toast in America, more like a cheese sandwich with lots of veggies toasted) and falafel, and the mall, and the Old City, and the pubs and bars around here. I truly think this is a special place because all the people here are just so nice and warm, and it was a great way to start my time in the country. I know Tel Aviv will be in stark contrast to Beer Sheva, and a part of me already misses the intimacy that this city has and Tel Aviv does not. As a way to conclude our time here, my group had a sort of potluck Shabbat dinner here at the Merkaz. It was wonderful, with lots of different kinds of food and great people. I found it ironic that the Torah portion for this past Shabbat was Lech L'cha, the portion where Abram is called by God to go to a land (Israel) that God will show him. Abram obeys and brings his wife Sarai along with him in this journey (I think they actually do end up in Beer Sheva), and they are bestowed many blessings. Abram and Sarai's names are changed to Abraham and Sarah, and they are given the blessing of a son, Isaac, which they both have wanted for so long. God changes their names as a sign of the covenant now between them, and the father and mother of the Jewish people are founded. There is so much that can be learned from this portion, but it just seemed too obvious to me that my group and people close to me are going through a very similar change. We all came on this journey expecting some change, some connection to the land of Israel to take place within us. I know that no one in my group is the same as when they first arrived here, and we are just beginning to become the people that we will be when we leave. We are about to head out of Beer Sheva and disperse throughout the country, which is going to give us yet another experience in the Land that God bestowed upon us. I know we are all nervous and excited, but ready to make a difference of the lives of the people we will meet. I feel blessed to have this opportunity, and to do it with those I respect and love so much.
Switching gears a bit, after Shabbat this past weekend, Israel memorialized the tenth year since Yitzhak Rabin's assasination. The memorial was held in Tel Aviv in Rabin square, the exact square where he stood to speak about peace and then was shot and killed as he descended the platform. This was the most intense, emotional experience I have had yet in Israel. About two hundred thousand people showed up, and were standing shoulder to shoulder on the streets surrounding Kikar Rabin because there was not enough space for everyone. Just to set the scene, the square was set up EXACTLY as it was ten years ago. The goal of Rabin's daughter was to reenact the night he was killed as precisely as possible. The platform was set in the same place, there were the same baloons surrounding the square, with the same slogans, the same songs sung, and some of the same people spoke. Throughout the ceremony, there were flashbacks to the news reporters commenting on his murder, from the point where he was shot to the moment he passed away, to his funeral. There were musical interludes, with the most talented of Israel's singers, singing songs that either were played at the rally ten years ago, were written after his death, or were loved by him. Some of the most powerful members of the Labor party, Israel's left-wing party in which Rabin was a part of, gave speeches commemorating Rabin and affirming that his vision of a peaceful Middle East has not died. This part of the ceremony served as somewhat of a revitalization of the left in Israel, with Amir Peretz (the new Labor party elected leader) and Shimon Peres (who ran against Peretz and is a veteran of the Labor party) giving speeches during the night. However, the highlight of the evening was the speech given by President Bill Clinton. Pres. Clinton came with Hillary and Chelsea, and I must that that I was incredibly moved seeing him at this event. He spoke about his friendship with Rabin, and how not a week passes by without him missing his friend. He discussed his legacy, saying that the best way to memorialize him would be to take up with work that he died doing for us. Another thing, I was amazed to see the Israeli's reaction to Clinton. They love him. Everybody was completely focused on his every word, and people showed such a reverance for him that it made me really proud to be an American. The most moving thing for me was the conclusion. President Clinton stayed on stage for the concluding song, Shir HaShalom (Song for Peace), which was sung at the end of the rally ten years ago. The lyrics to this song was actually found bloodstained in the pocket of PM Rabin when he died. Hatikva, Israel's national anthem, was played at the end and the camera man kept flashing back to Pres. Clinton who was singing along with us. I almost started crying. I remember the day that Rabin was murdered, and it meant so much to be to be able to stand in the Square with all of Israel to commemorate and pay respects to him. On top of this, Bill Clinton is my favorite president yet, and I am in disbelief that I sang Hatikvah with Bill Clinton in Israel. This ceremony just reminded me yet again of how hard this place is to live in. People sacrifice so much, even their lives, to live out a dream and passion for the betterment of the Jewish people. I am humbled when I try to imagine the magnitude of a sacrifice such as this, and admire people who have the ability to put their passion into their life's work. I am forever grateful to them.
And finally, an update on my personal life. Michael leaves this Thursday, which is sort of symbolic since that is the day I also leave Beer Sheva. I am putting a lot of effort into make the best out of the time I have left with him, but it is still hard for me to live in the moment when I focus so much on the fact that he will be out of my life so soon. I know life isn't fair, and I feel like a baby saying this, but this really isn't fair. I am hurting so much still, but have learned to do what my mom has always taught me. I am becoming a believer. I believe that there is a reason things like this happen, and that something else will come out of it. This mentality is hard for me to completely prescribe to all the time, but most of the time it makes me feel better. I have no idea what the future holds for me, which is exciting yet scary, but I am going to face it with everything I am. I was raised to be a strong person, to find strength within myself and be my own best friend. My strength is bolstered by those around me who are supporting me as I go through this. Why does love hurt so much? I refuse to become jaded by the heartaches and pain, and will not become bitter, but I wonder when it will just stop hurting and all come together like I believe it will. I know there is no clear answer for this, but I am ready to find peace with love in my life. Hopefully, with everything in my life changing right now, I will find the answers I am looking for and be focused yet again on my time here.

A sad day...

2005-11-07T04:03:00.000-08:00

Well, I guess it can't all be good here. Funny enough, I was eating dinner with Robin Einstein, Sharon Haber, Robin's cousin Melanie, and Kayla Ship, my tour guide for my trip in March, about Otzma as a program. In a side conversation with Kayla, I commented that what I like about Otzma is that we have been able to see what you don't normally see on tours here. On tours, no one wants to see that Israel, as a State and political entity, does not have it completely together quite yet. Two weeks ago on our education day, we were driven around to several different cities that have almost been completely neglected by the State. Ironically, all these cities are in the South, around Beer Sheva where I have lived for the last two months. I would say that a large majority of people in Israel believe that the desert is the future of this country. The Negev is where we have the most potential to grow and realize David Ben Gurion's Zionist dream of making the "desert bloom." Unfortunately, there are issues in the South that are truly difficult for a Jewish State to deal with, such as the Bedouins that were forced to settle within borders after the wars no longer allowed them to wander, or the new immigrants who were thrown into the Desert when they arrived in Israel and forced to build a life for themselves in a completely new environment. One particular city I visited, Yerucham, has a really large arch-like statue with a slide in the middle of it that everyone passes as you enter the city. You may ask, why the slide? The slide really stands as a symbol for those who can make it out of the city, slide away. They leave because the opportunities are so slim in cities in the periphery such as Yerucham. These are the ugly parts of this Jewish state that tourists do not come to and put money into the economy.
As a whole, things here are amazing. I walk around quite freely every day, appreciating the people that are out and about and th fact that the malls and shops are crowded. I can easily forget that this country is a new country, just barely hit the senior-citizen age, and still has many problems to deal with. I was reminded of this last night, in a very personal way. For those of you who don't remember, I have been lucky enough to be dating a very special man, Michael, who came here to make a life for himself from France. When I asked him once why he was here, he commented that in France he couldn't live his life as a Jew as fully as he wanted, and that he worried that when he started a family that raising Jewish children would be difficult there. He was a very successful dentist in France, working for 6 years and achieving financial goals that he had for himself. He took a chance by coming here, attaining citizenship, and then living on a temporary residency visa to see if he could make a life for himself here. On a more personal note, he is one of the sweetest, nicest men that I have ever had the privelege to get to know. He always supported me on my ways of practicing Judaism, even though he himself is an Orthodox Jew (and I can explain how that worked later if you are curious), and he also really respected what I had come here to do. Last night, after an amazing night of being together, he told me that he had to return to France to work. I sensed a sort of frustration and humiliation in his voice, but the truth is that doctors don't make the same living here in Israel as they can elsewhere. He had been searching for jobs to no avail, and I think he hit his limit and decided to go back to France next week to start rebuilding his life there. Needless to say, I am heartbroken about this whole thing. Heartache feels the same regardless of the country that you are in, and this one especially hurts because I am powerless. I cannot imagine the loss of intergrity he must feel having to pick up and start again, since I know how much it meant to him to live here, and I am having a hard time dealing myself with the circumstances of this loss of mine. He was wonderful to me, not saying that we were meant to be together, but it is yet another relationship that I feel was stolen based solely on circumstances out of my control.
I am angry. I am angry that a professional cannot come live in this country and realize the same success as he can elsewhere. On the one hand, we are doing so much right here. This is the one place that Judaism may be preserved forever, but how can we sustain the people here if we have no opportunities to offer them? How? I also take into account the fact that we did just go through the intifada, a four year war that completely decimated our economy, and we actually can try to build it up now. Health insurance doesn't cover dentistry. The health system is socialized, so what motivates people to be doctor's if they are not rewarded for it? We are so worried about our security here, but everyone smokes so much that I always wonder why we bother if we don't worry about our health too. These are hard times here, and I wish I understood the economy more so I could surmise a way to fix it. I don't, but God-willing, someone will in the future. That is all I can hope for so heartaches like this don't have to happen again.

Just can't sit still...

2005-11-04T14:13:00.000-08:00

Well, I finally made it to Shabbat this week! I am sitting in my friend Julia's living room at about midnight in Jerusalem, and thought I would attempt to collect some thoughts of the last couple weeks.
My Sukkot vacation ended with celebrating Simchat Torah in Jerusalem with friends. At that point of the chagim, I was all prayed out, so we decided to have dinner at our favorite coffee chain in Israel, Aroma, for dinner and then head to services when all the dancing was happening. I wasn't sure what the atmosphere of the holiday would be like in the city, mostly if places would be open, because of how quiet Jerusalem was for Yom Kippur. For Simchat Torah, the shops and restaurants that would normally be closed on Shabbat were closed, and those that would be open were open. Nothing too special. After dinner, my friends and I went to Shira Hadasha, the progressive Orthodox shul that I have mentioned before, and joined in on the dancing and singing with the Torah. I was satisfied with my half hour of praying for the holiday, and went back to drink a little as you are supposed to dance with joy (okay, so I did the opposite) on this holiday! I ended up drinking an entire bottle of white wine to myself, and then proceeded to a party at Feivel's, my madrich, apartment. The funny part of the story was when Feivel gave a d'var torah talking about how his friends "eminate Torah" in their words and actions. Afterwards, he came to check on my friends and I, and I asked him, slurred voice and all, if I "eminated Torah?" He just kind of laughed and moved on from the conversation...
Anyway, so I went back to Beer Sheva for two days, which is where my adventure for the next week began. The students are back in University in the city, which means more things to do and many more people in town. My friends and I have basically decided to go out on the town as much as we can, as we are leaving to our respective cities in two weeks! Long story short, we went out to a pub in Beer Sheva on Wednesday, and then Thursday night decided to go to Eilat.
Eilat is a beautiful resort town located at the southernmost end of the country. The bus ride takes about three and a half hours from Beer Sheva, so it was better for us to go now when we are still living there. Eilat was wonderful, beautiful, breathtaking, and did not feel a bit like Israel. That was the really strange part actually. This city did not feel like Israel. There was a major lack in kosher restaurants, topless women on the beaches, and not much in the form of religion openly exhibited. I layed on the beach, and could literally see Jordan on the other side of the water, and Egypt in the distance. I was joking with my friends about the idea of how relaxed I was, sunbathing amidst countries that don't particularly like my country. I then just rolled over to get an even tan on my back!
I came back to Beer Sheva late Saturday night, went to sleep, and the next day was packing on my way to Tel Aviv. Why was I going to Tel Aviv? Robin Einstein and Sharon Haber were arriving at Ben Gurion airport at 5:35AM with my guitar that I needed to pick up from them! So, I slept at my host family's house in Tel Aviv, woke up at 4:30AM, and was walked to the bus stop by my host dad, Yigal, at 5:20AM so he could make sure I knew what I was doing. I'm telling you, this family that has adopted me is so wonderful. I am so lucky. Anyway, so I arrived at the airport at 6AM and Robin and Sharon were waiting in the terminal for me! My first visitors! I sat with them for about an hour, catching up, listening about their flight, so on and so forth, and then caught a train to Beer Sheva at 7AM. I was back in Beer Sheva by 8:30AM and back to class by 9! That was a crazy day.
The next day (we are at Tues, Nov. 1, now), I traveled back to Tel Aviv with my three other fellows from LA (Brent, Michelle, and Larry) for our site visit. I am moving there in about two weeks, so we went to see our volunteer opportunities and where we are going to live. I was struck by many of the opportunities when I was there, but one in particular hit me hard. There is a huge amount of illegal immigrants in Tel Aviv currently, 60,000 down from 140,000 four years ago, and a large problem with the kids of these immigrants. The kids basically have no where to go, except day care centers with sub-par conditions set up by private people throughout the city. We went to one of the "better" daycares, where there were about 40 kids to two staff people that did not do anything with the kids. The babies stayed in their cribs all day, because they have no where to go, and the other kids occupied themselves by doing more of nothing all day long. This was truly heartbreaking for me to see, and so I am looking forward to spending time there in Tel Aviv. The other interesting thing about Tel Aviv will be my living conditions. I am living in an assisted living home for senior citizens in the area of where I will be volunteering. My peers love to make fun of me for this, but I actually think it should be a pretty fun experience. Michelle and I will be living in a one-bedroom place adjacent to Brent and Larry. The home doesn't feel or look like a hospital at all, more of like an elderly dorm hall! We walked in the door to look at the place, and there were all these people playing cards, conversing, etc. I hopefully will master more chords on the guitar and be able to play for them when I am there. I think this experience will be great, and most definitely interesting.
Wednesday was a normal day, thank goodness. Thursday, I went back up to Tel Aviv to have an education day at Tel Aviv University. First of all, what a beautiful campus! We spent the entire day learning about issues of the Jewish World today, including the Diaspora. I'm too tired to get into detail, but it was very interesting. The exciting part of yesterday was the arrival of the box of "stuff" from my mommy! I can now be just a little bit more spoiled here, and use my favorite shampoos and conditioners again! The little things in life make it that much better, and I know I am spoiled but I have most definitely learned to appreciate it even more now! I stayed in Tel Aviv last night to celebrate my friend Jen's birthday, and ate an amazing meal at a restaurant called Dixie's.
This brings me to today. I headed to Jerusalem after eating breakfast in Tel Aviv with friends. Firstly, it is COLD here. Silly Tami forgot to bring closed-toed shoes here, so luckily I have good friends who let me borrow shoes so my toes don't fall off! I went to services tonight at HUC with Julia, and then went to dinner at Foccacita with Robin and Sharon. We had so much fun, and everything has been great. I will give you more soon...

My Sukkot Vacation Thus Far...

2005-10-22T06:54:00.000-07:00

Sukkot is like winter vacation in the States. The time of this season is referred to by everyone as the "chagim," translating into "holidays." Sukkot is the "moed," or "festival" that concludes the chagim. This basically means that the entire State of Israel begins vacationing right after Yom Kippur is over during Sukkot. So, Otzma allows us to live like Israelis and have our first vacation of the year during Sukkot. Naturally, I thought I had my vacation all planned and ready to go. My friends Erin, Jen, Gittle, Sarah, and I were all going to the B'reshit Music Festival up north in Tiberias, and hiking from the Kinnerret to the Meditteranean for four days, and then spending Simchat Torah in Jerusalem. I should have expected that things would change, because that is what always seems to happen with my schedule lately.
I started my vacation on Monday, October 17th by traveling pretty far north to Tiberias for B'reshit. We left Beer Sheva, camping gear and backpacks in hand, and hopped on a bus up north at about noon. We didn't actually arrive in Tiberias until about 6:30 because the traffic was so terrible since everyone was travelling before sundown started Sukkot. So, we were dropped off at Chof Dugit, the beach where everyone camped, and picked our campsite right next to the little restaurant. As it turned out, the restaurant literally did not turn off the music all night long. So if you can imagine techno music with a little pop music mixed in pounding in your head all night long, that is exactly what my sleeping atmosphere was that night. I forgot to mention also, mostly everyone camping was in their teens, about 14-17 years old I would say. So, again, if you can imagine Jewish summer camp with a hippie twist and zero camp counselors, that is what it was like. Needless to say, I was in a pretty foul mood when I "woke up" (you have to sleep to wake up) the next morning. Luckily though, the rest of the festival made up for it. The festival reminded me of the OC Fair, with all the outside booths selling a variety of goods, and informational booths mostly promoting environmental/health conscious products and practices. There were different bands playing throughout the day, and lots of chai tea to drink. The entire festival was vegetarian, so meat eaters were out of luck. I defintely embraced my hippie side, which I discovered is pretty limited! I didn't shave anything, wore dirty clothes, and barely took a real shower the entire time I was there! However, I would say that I was cleaner than most! Anyway, all and all, I heard some really awesome Israeli bands and met some interesting people, and camping by the beach was in fact really beautiful, even though I am not much of a camper.
One sad thing to note about the festival is that there was a plethora of prostelitizing Christians. I was very upset to see this. The thing that upset me the most actually was that they were sly with their tactics. There was a Jews for Jesus booth, with literature all in Hebrew, and people with t-shirts on walking around handing these pamphlets out to the unexpecting kids at the festival. One guy approached us,and I am pretty sure that when he left he was sorry he had ever met us. My friends and I all were pretty much on the same page in that regard, that we just cannot accept the dirty tactics that these people take to try to convert more people to a false form of Judaism. The guy definitely felt that when he walked away from us. There also were Christian bands there. Granted, they were all singing in English, so we were really the only ones offended by their words. However, I was pretty upset by this knowing how much Jews have to deal with this in the States and saddened that these people just can't let us be even in Israel. Very disheartening.
Anyway, so on Tuesday morning, we awoke from our tents to pouring rain. Erin and I had borrowed a tent from one of our friends in Beer Sheva, who neglected to tell us that the zipper on the tent was broken! Sadly, that was a very wet morning for us. At that point, we reconsidered going on the backpacking trip and started to make other plans. We left B'reshit and stayed at my friend Jen's brother's kibbutz, Deganya, which is right next to Tiberias. We visited Hamat Gader, the resort and hot springs, that evening and then went to bed. The next day we woke up early and headed up north to do a hike through pools and mountains. Unfortunately, I don't know the name of the place we went, but it was truly beautiful! I was having a bit of a hard time hiking over all the rocks in my shoes, but I somehow managed to not trip and hurt myself. I have no pictures of this hike because at one point, you literally cannot pass through without swimming through ice cold water and engulfing yourself completely. I lost my sunglasses when I hit the water, because I just forgot about everything because the temperature was so piercingly cold.
When we arrived back from the hike, I decided that I was finished with nature and being dirty, so I decided to hop a bus with friends to stay in Jerusalem basically until the end of the break. However, as I was sitting on the bus, I realized that I really didn't want to be spending that much money on hostels, and that I would rather go meet my family that I just discovered. I'll back up a minute... I forgot that I had family that lives in Israel! Before I was leaving for Sukkot break, I received a random phone call asking for someone named Jennifer. I told the woman calling that this was not Jennifer, but I knew many Jennifer's in my group, and perhaps she had the wrong number. She hung up, and then called back a few minutes later. This time the question she asked me was "Are you Leslie's daughter?" I was shocked, and then replied "Yes, I am." She became excited, "I'm Sylvia, your cousin! I know Mike and Dorothy, your grandparents, right?" All of a sudden, I began feeling this huge sense of relief almost that I have real, bonafide family members here! The conversation just continued, and we agreed that we would see each other soon after Sukkot break when I could come visit them in Ashdod. Sylvia concluded with "You have family here now. If you need anything, just call." I can't even explain the feeling I had. I just felt this enormous sense of gratefulness that now I actually do have real family, that know my history, my relatives, me, and I really did feel like I might have found my home away from home. Israel is wonderful, but can feel a little lonely at times.
Okay, so back to my story. As I was sitting on the bus, I realized that I really just wanted to meet my family and stay with them before travelling to Jerusalem for the chag. At about 4:00, I just decided to call Sylvia and see if that was possible. She was more than happy to hear from me, and said if I could find a way to come to Ashdod, that I was more than welcome. I decided that was what I would do, but I knew it would be difficult since public transportation basically stops after sundown on Shabbat unless you are willing to pay an enormous amount of kesef (money) to go somewhere. I didn't give up hope. We arrived in Jerusalem at about 5, and it was dark and deserted, as I had expected. I caught a cab down to Ben Yehuda, where there are usually cabbies or sherut (shared taxis) hanging out. I found a sherut going to Tel Aviv, which is close to Ashdod, and off I went. After travelling another hour to Tel Aviv, I found another Sherut to Ashdod and off I went again! Feeling so happy and relieved, I arrived in Ashdod with no broken bones or bruises, and waited to meet Sylvia at the Central bus station. I waited maybe five minutes, and Sylvia and Marek walked up to greet me!
I was overwhelmed. Family. I recognized Sylvia, not from pictures, but because she resembled my family, my aunt Virginia's smile. I knew I truly was home, and was going to meet even more of my family here in Israel that second. We walked to Sylvia's brother Eli's house, where I met his wife Yafa, his sons Roi and Edo, and Edo's girlfriend Moran. I also met Sylvia and Eli's mom, whose name I still don't know because they were calling her "Ema" the entire time. Dinner was wonderful. We all caught up on how the family was doing, which they were all quite inquisitive about. Eli was talking about how he spent a day in LA a while ago, and my mom drove him around and visited with him the entire day. Sylvia kept telling me about how wonderful my grandparents were to her when she lived in LA, and when she really needed someone to help her at the end of her stay in LA. Sylvia had pictures of my mom and grandparents and my family when we were young sitting on the kitchen table so we could look at them when we came home. I just feel better being in Israel now. I still miss my family at home terribly, but some of that void is now filled with people here that truly care about me and make me feel at home when I am with them. So, I am here now, sitting at Sylvia's computer writing emails and updating my life. We went on a driving tour of Ashdod today, which is situated on the beach and reminds me so much of Huntington or Santa Monica. We had lunch on the boardwalk, and now are just relaxing until shops open up again after Shabbat. What a wonderful, unexpected holiday!

High Holiday Quickie

2005-10-16T12:04:00.000-07:00

Just when I think I am becoming more consistant, that updating this will not be hard to do, the High Holidays hit and all hell breaks loose! Okay, I am being overly dramatic, but things did all of a sudden become really busy around here. I apologize to all of you who avidly read my blog for the lapse in entries. I've just been really busy.
I know that some of you were wondering how my performance went for the Jewish Agency workers... In short, it was fabulous! It turned out it was a real performance, with real microphones, a real audience, a real sound system; you get the picture. There were about 100 Jewish agency workers from all over the State in attendance, and many speeches that I did not understand but were apparently funny since everyone was laughing. I performed in the same group that you see in the previous pictures, and I promise to post my pics as soon as I get a chance.
Rosh Hashanah turns out to feel much like the secular new year when you spend it with a secular family. I found it really interesting actually... In Tel Aviv, I feel like the atmosphere of a secular new year was even more apparent. "Shanah tovah" was on about every billboard, my favorite billboard showing the top of a pomegranate in the shape of a Jewish star and then the sign just saying "Shanah tovah l'kol anshai Israel" (In English: Happy New Year to the People of Israel). I spent the Holiday eating the entire time with my host family in Tel Aviv. Nothing was open, so the only thing to do was eat and hang out. The second day of the Holiday I went to the movies with my host sister, and finally saw "The Forty Year Old Virgin," a perfect way to start the year if you ask me. I really missed going to shul and being with my real family though; it just didn't feel right to not be with everyone.
Yom Kippur, in short, was amazing. I went with my group to Jerusalem for the Holiday, and stayed right next to Hebrew Union College (HUC is the Reform Jewish College that trains cantors, rabbis, and educators) where I spent the services. The sanctuary had an incredible view of the Old City, so as I was sitting through about a million hours of services, I had the pleasure of watching the different ways the light shines on the Old City. The view helped the cause of fasting successfully, as it gave me a fabulous diversion to the pangs in my stomach throughout the day. Another thing, the city was QUIET. There were no cars on the street, and everyone took advantage of it by walking in the middle of the street. No businesses were open at all, unlike Shabbat where a few still remain open. This was certainly a sight to see, and just kind of amazing that the citizens of the city were literally all in shul or in their apartments.
This was my experience on the surface. I am sorry I don't have time to explain more, but I certainly will touch on it when I get back. Monday night starts the Sukkot holiday, and everyone in Israel is on vacation, including me! I know I will have much to say when I return, and will do my best to not procrastinate. Just know that I am having an amazing time here, and that I miss all of you so much. Please keep the comments coming. Love you.

The Holidays are Coming...

2005-10-01T03:57:00.000-07:00

I ended up coming down with my first real cold while I have been here in Israel, and I will tell you that there was nothing "inspiring" at all about it! I felt a little odd sniffling and blowing my nose in at least 80 degree desert weather, but nevertheless I am getting through it. I am at the stage where you only have to blow your nose a couple of times to make it through the day without being miserable.
I must say that this particular cold came at a very inconvenient time for me, not that colds are ever convenient, but you know what I mean! This week we had a Tekes (assembly) for Rosh Hashanah at the Merkaz for all the Ulpan classes and anyone else who wanted to come. I didn't write about this before, but about two weeks ago, the two Otzma Ulpan classes were combined and introduced to Gadi, who is the Merkaz's musician when he is needed. He handed out song sheets, and started to teach us traditional Israeli songs for Rosh Hashanah and the holidays. Innocently enough, we were learning "Bashana Habana" in class and he asked for soloists. Right away, everyone began pointing to my British roommate who sings in a band in London and is very open about her musical ability. After she sang, Gadi asked for others, and then the finger was pointed at me! Funny enough, not everyone in Otzma knows that I am a singer, because I'm still not sure how one shares that sort of information, but I ended up singing and also getting a solo! I didn't know this at the time, but the fact that I got a solo meant that I would be performing in front of the entire Ulpan and at a special performance for the Jewish Agency workers!
So, on Wednesday, we had our Tekes for Ulpan. The performance was a lot of fun, with apples and honey and everyone in the holiday spirit! The people from the other Ulpan classes were from all over: India, Russia, Canada, South America, France, and the States. I really thought it was amazing how we were all celebrating the Jewish New Year together. My cold definitely made my voice a little scratchy, and my performance not exactly how I would have wanted, but overall it was fine. I impressed some staff at the Merkaz, and my French man so that made it all worthwhile. On Sunday, I have another performance for the Jewish Agency workers which is apparently pretty important. I was joking that I thought I wouldn't be singing this year for the holidays, but it seems that I was wrong again!
The feeling around Israel these days is very much focused towards the holidays coming... Every cab driver I have encountered, cashier at the grocery store, the bakery lady, the salespeople at the mall, everyone has wished me a "Shanah Tovah" when I have finished my business with them. Everyone in the State at least acknowledges that the new year is coming in some way, regardless of how religious they are or not. Even the ATM wishes you a Shana Tovah after you take out money! This week I taught my last Atidim class before the Holidays, and I wished the kids a Shana Tovah as they walked out the door. The thought occured to me that was an experience that I did not have outside of Sunday school when I was a kid growing up in Orange County. I imagine that this experience is hard to have outside of a Jewish Day School or heavily populated Jewish area in the States.
For all the problems that Israel deals with, the fact that the freedom exists to be a Jew as one pleases seems to make all the trouble worth it. I've been taught to appreciate the little things in life. The ability to wish literally everyone a Shana Tovah, and not have to worry about getting work days off, or make up homework, or all the issues that we have to deal with being a Jew who wants to observe the Holidays in the US, makes me appreciate being here so much more.

Adoptive family and such...

2005-09-24T08:50:00.000-07:00

Firstly, I do apologize for not posting pictures recently. I'm going to try my hardest to post this week, or today if at all possible.

Last weekend all of the Otzmanikim went to their respective cities to meet their host families. I was picked up in Tel Aviv at about 9:30AM by my "father," Yigal. We went to his car, and he drove me back to his house where I would be spending Shabbat with the rest of the family. We arrived at the cute little apartment on the third floor outside the center of the city in Tel Aviv, where I was greeted by my "mother" Chedva and "brother" Roy. I don't have any pictures of Roy, but he was a typical (or not so typical) Israeli 17 teen year old who did not hang out with his family unless he had to and basically did his own thing. He maybe said two words to me the entire weekend, so I think that meant that I fit right in with the rest of his family. He said about three words to them. Anyway, I am digressing. I walked into the door and put my things in my host sister's room, and took a nap because I was so tired. Yigal went to sleep too after we had chocolate cake and coffee for dessert with Chedva. I woke up from my nap, played on the internet for a while, and planted myself in front of the tv for like the next 4 hours until Shabbat came in. Normally I might be bored of this, but considering I don't own a tv anymore, it was relatively fun to do something mindless. An anecdote about my "mother" Chedva, she was such a typical Jewish mother! She comes from a Yemenite background, so everything she cooks has a certain flavor to it. She loves to cook and talked about all the different recipes she liked to try. I basically had no choice but to try everything put in front of me, and I have come quite a long way from my "spaghetti no sauce" days! However, I think Chedva thought I was too skinny or something (which is nuts) because literally whereever I went the entire weekend, there was food. I went to the computer to play on the internet, and there was a plate of fruit. I sat in front of the tv, and there was two kinds of seeds, more fruit, chocolate cake, chocolate, and coffee. I am not kidding. For Shabbat dinner, their cousin and grandfather joined us and we had about 8 different dishes on the table. I ate, and ate, and ate the entire weekend, and none of it was bad food at all! I fell in love with different Yemenite foods, like the pita like doughy bread that you put eggplant and tahina spread on. Amazing! I don't remember what else I tried, but all I remember thinking was that my parents would be proud of me! After Shabbat dinner, which was quite traditional despite the Israeli soccer game we were watching in the background, we all got dressed and went out as a family to the boardwalk of Tel Aviv. It was beautiful! Tel Aviv is not a religious city in Israel, and in fact I would say it was odd to see any shops closed given the amount of people and noise. The tayelet (aka the boardwalk) was completely packed with people strolling, street performers, and bars packed with people and loud music. We sat at Mike's Place, made famous by the terrible suicide bombing that happened in 2002, and drank beer and listened to the live rock music. I have to say, for an Israeli band doing American Classic Rock, it wasn't so bad! We got home at about 3AM and went to bed right after that night. One thing I haven't mentioned yet, my family only speaks a limited amount of English. I found the language barrier to mean two really neat things. First, you can communicate with someone and make them feel completely welcome without being able to understand tham completely. There were only a couple times that I didn't understand or participate in most conversations that weekend, and that was because they made me feel welcome in so many other ways. The other thing I realized is that they truly wanted to communicate with me, and would sit with a dictionary for words even if it was a little frustrating. I was forced to try to use my Hebrew more than I have to daily living with my Otzmaniks, they helped me say the words correctly and likewise. I think that they are just as excited to improve their English as I am to improve my Hebrew. Even though it is a little harder to communicate, I think it is going to be that much better in the longrun. On Shabbat, we walked around Old Yafo, which is the old part of Tel Aviv where it is about 50/50 Jews and Arabs, and along the other part of the tayelet in Tel Aviv. We were incredibly hot all day, so we went back to the apartment and rested until S'udah Shlishit. For the last meal, we went up to the outskirts of Tel Aviv to Yigal's sister's house, which is this huge house on top of a hill and beautiful. My first taste of the elite in Israel. The family was incredibly sweet, and spoke perfect English, so it was nice to be able to communicate more clearly than I had all weekend. I was dropped back to the bus by my entire family (except Roy of course) at about 11PM with hugs and warms wishes. I am going back there for Rosh Hashanah, and am really looking forward to it. I already have spoked to my "sister" Liron this week, and I know that this hopefully will grow into an amazing relationship over the year.
In other news... I did my first volunteer opportunity with the Atidim kids this week in their high school this week. About 20 high schoolers showed up, completely enthusiastic and happy to be there with us. They came from a variety of backgrounds: Russian, Ethiopian, South American, and Israeli. I am truly amazed to see the spectrum of backgrounds that people come from in Israel. This truly is a country of immigrants, especially in cities like Beer Sheva. We played games with them all including English, and they came away from it wanting to do more with us in the future. We are basically going to teach them about American pop culture, so I think our curriculum will include a lot of baseball, Kelly Clarkson, and MTV. I am excited! We have another session on Tuesday, so hopefully it will be as good as the last.
Finally, I don't usually talk about my love life on my blog, because it is a little awkward, but I feel I have to mention one quick thing... I met this French, Jewish, good looking, TALL, DENTIST named Michael at my Ulpan a couple weeks ago, and we have hit it off pretty well. Excluding all other details, I basically ditched all responsibilities and went on a bus (one-way, direct, SAFE) to Tel Aviv after Ulpan and went to the beach with him this Wednesday. Needless to say, the water was fantastic and the tayelet (the same one I was at on Shabbat) was absolutely breathtaking. I layed on the beach with this hot French man who seems to like me quite a bit, and just truly soaked in the sun and the rest of the day. As I was laying facing the Meditteranean Sea, watching the sunset, and taking in the beauty of the shoreline of Tel Aviv, I realized that I was actually having a "moment" with a cute Jewish boy in my amazing homeland. I think I am falling in love... with Israel. I cannot put in to words how that moment made me feel, but I just honestly couldn't believe that this is my life right now. I am so lucky.

An Unexpected Multicultural Weekend

2005-09-14T03:48:00.000-07:00

Well, they say that in Israel anything can happen, perhaps because Israel is the land of miracles, milk and honey, etc. ad naseam, ad infinitum. This weekend I felt like I truly experienced just how diverse this country can actually be on a regular basis.
Weekends in Israel for me start on Thursdays usually. My weekly schedule goes like this: Sunday-Wednesday I have Ulpan from 8:15AM-12:45PM. After that, I volunteer for a few hours and then come home. I haven't exactly figured out all the places I am volunteering, but I have one program that I am involved in. I am a group leader for a program called Atidim, which means "Futures" in Hebrew. This program works with the top 20% of kids who live in the periphery, which means outside the big cities like Tel Aviv, Jerusalem, etc. and gives these teenagers extra classes after school in math, science, and English. The idea behind this program is that this will help the kids excel in subjects that they need to be accepted to universities in Israel. The kids who have gone through this program in the past have been more likely to be accepted. The hope is that after their education they will resettle in their respective communities and help create new jobs and a better economy. The hope is also that in 15 years or so, the cities in the periphery will be just as appealing to live in and able to provide the same jobs and opportunities as big cities. I am extremely excited to help these kids learn English and get to know them. I also know that this will be a huge challenge as well, but I am up for it.
Anyway, on Thursdays, during this part of the program, we either have education days or group volunteer activities. Last Thursday was a truly meaningful volunteer opportunity. We met with the other Otzmanikiim from Ashkelon and ended up in a greenhouse that had tons of plants that had been transferred there during the disengagement from Gaza. None of these plants had been properly placed or watered since they had been moved. We had the unique opportunity to help expediate the process for the former settlers by arranging these pots so they can grow and prosper as they did in Gaza. Although the settlers themselves weren't helping us rearrange the flowers, I couldn't help but think that perhaps we were giving them peace of mind so that they could continue on with their lives as best they can. I was happy to help.
My friends and I caught the next train out to Haifa, where we spent the night and most of the next day. The train is a great way to travel in Israel, I have discovered. There is a lot of room to spread out, and the views of the country are just beautiful. The only complaint I have is that they are COLD!!! I felt like I was in a meat locker the entire time, and will most definitely bring sweats for the next time I decide to take the train! We arrived in Haifa, which is located in the Southern Galilee, around 9PM and found our hostel, an adorable place located right next to downtown Haifa. We took a leisurely walk to the main street with lots of restaurants and clubs, all lit with colored lamps and lanterns. I felt very much like I was in downtown Santa Barbara, with the lights and the beach. We had a beautiful view of the Bahai Gardens lit up on top of the hill overlooking the street. I had a nice dinner with friends, and afterwards we went walking back to our hostel and heard music coming from a place on a side street. Like good travelers, we followed our ears and ended up at locals' bar in Haifa where everyone was dancing and singing along with the music. We weren't sure if this was a private party, so we hesitated at the door to walk in, when the manager came to the door and escorted us in! From then on, I felt like we were the sort of celebrities in the bar... Everyone came by our table to say hello, try to speak with us (although their English was terrible, and so was my Hebrew, so that was difficult). All in all though, the bar was my first real taste of smalltown Israeli nightlife, and it was wonderful to be in a space where everyone was dancing and singing Hebrew songs that weren't from Sunday school.
The next day we woke up and went on our own walking tour of Haifa. We tried to get on a tour of the Bahai gardens, but there was not enough space for us so we just looked from the outside. Breathtakingly beautiful. We'll plan better next time. We ended up visiting a Catholic church located on the edge of Haifa. It was not designed as grandly as those churches I have seen in Europe, but it was built in Israel in the 1700's by people who were seeking religious refuge. I honestly don't remember the details, but I bought some postcards to send out about it... We took the cable car down from the top of the hill in Haifa, walked along the beach, and then traveled on our way out to Tiberias.
Tiberias turns out to be a beach city with lots of restaurants, shops, clubs, and feels very much like a tourist town. We definitley overpaid for meals and such, but that was the sacrifice for a clear view of the Kineret. The Kineret is fresh water, so I basically felt like I was taking a warm bath when I swam in it. In Tiberias, we went out for a night on the town and then hung out on the beach the next day....
Here is where the multicultural part of my weekend comes in. The whole reason we went to Tiberias in the first place was because my friend Brian has a friend in an Arab town next to Tiberias who was getting married. We thought that he was the only one invited to the engagement party, but he called us as we were laying out on the beach to let us know that all of us were invited to this party. So, in true traveler form, we changed at the local McDonald's bathroom and caught a sherut (shared taxi-van) to take us to our destination. We ended up meeting up with Brian's friend's roommate, Ronit, who welcomed us into our home an escorted us to the party. As I entered the party, there was at least 150 Muslim women surrounding this prestinely dressed girl who was dancing in the middle of the group. The girl, actually the bride-to-be, was dressed in an ornate purple gown, with each hair on her head perfectly placed, and her make up perfectly done. She was clearly the center of attention, and danced to the music that one could hear throughout the village. We were clearly outsiders at the party, but nevertheless everyone was incredibly accepting and invited us to join in on the festivities. About an hour into the program, the groom's entire family, and I am estimating about another 150 women, showed up clapping and dancing to the party to again dance with the bride-to-be. About half an hour later, the groom arrived, atop his buddies, and cheered as he entered to meet his bride. They danced together, and then exchanged dowries. The experience was topped off by the men serving the women traditional Arab pastries, fruit, and tea throughout the party. I ended up dancing in the group with the bride, and had the best time trying to imitate the other Arab dancers around me. It was fabulous, and incredibly mind- opening. I was reminded that Arabs and Jews do come from the same geographical region, at least the Sephardic Jews do, and we all party the same way!
After the party, we went back to Ronit's house and her mother made us a snack to take with us before we left. We still had some time before sundown, when Shabbat is over and transportation begins again, so we just talked with Ronit and her siblings about everything. We did get into a little bit of a political discussion, but Ronit shied away from delving too deep because I think she didn't want to interrupt the pleasantries of the afternoon. It was obvious to me that we wouldn't agree on everything. However, I also realized that these are not the people that are trying to kill us. Yes, they are sympathetic to the Palestinian cause, but in the same way that we are sad for other Jews around the world that do not have the same opportunities we do. Moreover, she did express that the government of Israel helps her family since it is so large, and that she would not move to a new Palestinian State initially because she would not have the same opportunities there. Sadly though, in the same way Jews experience anti-Semitism in countries that are not our own, she experiences some racism at Hebrew University where she studies. She feels like she is looked down upon because she is an Arab Muslim, and that is hard for her to deal with all the time. I was deeply saddened to hear that racism is widespread, even in a place where I would like to believe it exists less. This was another look into how the conflict affects people's lives directly, and was extremely important for me to see it from the other side. We watched the sunset set over the mountains, and then left the Village to come back to Beer Sheva.
I was incredibly moved by my experience in the Arab Village, the name I will find out later because I don't remember off the top of my head. I was almost moved to tears several times throughout the engagement party because I realized how much Arabs also just want to live as regular people. As I write these thoughts down, I am scared to admit that I had many preconcieved notions about Arabs here in Israel. I'll be honest. Knowing the sensitivity of the conflict and the political situation Israel is going through right now, I have been a little apprehensive towards those people who are not Jewish here. I don't analyze every person on the street, but I definitely think about who I am passing by sometimes. This is hard to write. When I was witnessing the joy during the engagement party, and the pain that my friend (she is my friend now) Ronit experiences, it hit me that the Arabs were not celebrating death. They were celebrating life. They were not celebrating the amount of kids this new couple will have so they can then go kill more Israelis, but were instead wishing them a prosperous future and meaningful life together. I am almost ashamed to say that I really needed this experience to widen my world-view, and remind myself that people are all just people, who generally search for the same things in life. When Ronit and her sister were explaining what being a Muslim meant to them, they said it was a feeling that just came from deep within them, in their hearts. In Judaism we call that kavannah, or intention/feeling from the heart. It was important for me to be reminded that that feeling is universal. Interestingly enough, that day, a sheikh (a Muslim spiritual leader) who had just been released from Israeli jail after two years came to visit their village that evening to thank them for their support during his sentence. Ronit's mother made sure that we knew what happened to this man, and that they loved this man very much. According to Ronit, he was jailed for speaking out against the Israeli army after they had done a raid in the territories that had killed many Palestinians. One would imagine, since the news puts these images in our heads, that there would be green flags being waved and madness in the village to show their support for this sheikh, but there was nothing. Peacefully, Muslims walked to the mosque to hear their sheikh speak, and again this was another reminder of how everything is not always as it seems. I couldn't help but wonder how much we in Israel we may overestimate a situation, and let fear guide our actions. I truly hope one day that Israelis and Arabs can one day embrace each other's similarities, and work out our differences in a peaceful way. I can't say I think that will be soon, because I am unfortunately still quite pessimistic about the actual Palestinians, but I have regained some hope for the future of relationships between Arabs and Jews. This entire experience will burn strongly in my memory, and I feel relieved to have been able to have my eyes opened so wide.

New Photo Update

2005-09-03T00:24:00.000-07:00

I realized after uploading my photos of Israel up until now that I am unable to narrate them on the album. So, here is little update to clue you in...
Pictures 1-8 are from the bar in Long Beach called Joe Josts. We have a family tradition to go to Joe's to celebrate any significant event in our lives. So, Uncle Gary, Aunt Cindi, my parents and brother all accompanied me to the bar for one last drink...
Pictures 9-17 are of my best friend Kim, Jenelle, Josh, and Kevin all celebrating again at Newport Brewing Company. Good times...
Pictures 17-23 are at Chimayo in downtown Huntington Beach with my God-sister Andrea and her husband Joe, Kim, Aunt Cindi and Uncle Gary, my brother Zach, and my parents.
Picture 24 My fellow Otzmanik from LA Michelle and me at the airport.
25: Larry and Zahava among all our luggage.
26: Otzma XX pictures!
27: All the Otzmanikim sitting for orientation.
28: North American director Marni Mandell.
29: LA cohort waiting for our flight... Brent, me, Michelle, and Larry.
30: Jen (from Texas), me, and Jenny (from Wisconsin) posing before our opening dinner at the Youth Hostel.
31: Me, Jen, and Erin (from Canada) posing in front of our dinner.
32: LA cohort.
33-38: Pics from the dinner
39: LA cohort and the Tel Aviv partnership staff.
40-48: A night out in Jerusalem. We ended up in this trendy 70's bar off of Ben Yehuda street and then a hookah bar
49-54: The Bedouin tent and camel riding. All I can say is that camels are seriously disgusting.
55-70: Hiking through the Negev desert on Nahal dov. We concluded that hike with a visit to Ben Gurion's, Israel's first prime minister who dreamed to "make the desert bloom," grave. After that, I floated in the Dead Sea. Ouch!
71: Top of Nahal Tamar.
72: We venture into the Old City of Jerusalem from the Jaffa Gate.
73-77: The Kotel (Western Wall) at night.
78-79: Hookah Bar in Jerusalem.
80-83: The carnival we planned for the kids at the Absorbtion Center.
84-95: The tour of the Israeli Supreme court.
96-99: View of the Old City from my hostel in Jerusalem, Beit Shmuel.

Just to update quickly, we had our first "education day" in Jerusalem on Thursday. We gathered both groups together to discuss the issue of Israel as a Jewish State. We looked at documents like the Declaration of the State that David Ben Gurion read as he was declaring Israel a legitimate state to the world. We discussed issues like growing pigs in Israel, Hatikvah as the national anthem, the Shabbat laws, etc. The discussion was fascinating, and I feel like I am just a little more educated on the internal issues that Israel has. We also toured the Israel Supreme Court which was cool, but a little on the dry side.

I am spending Shabbat with Julia and David at their apartment in Jerusalem. Jules planned a surprise party for David's 26th birthday with all his friends here. He was surprised for the most part, and the food was great! We are just taking it easy for the rest of the weekend around here, which is exactly what I needed. I feel like I am at a hotel compared to what I live in at Beer Sheva. It is so nice to have friends here.

I'll write more later... Shabbat Shalom all!

Arrival in Beer Sheva

2005-08-29T13:04:00.000-07:00

We arrived in Beer Sheva yesterday morning. However, when we loaded the bus, we were informed that there had just been a terrorist attack at the Central Bus station here. This put quite a damper on the experience, although I reacted better than I thought I would. Life goes on in Israel, and the news and people worldwide seem to forget that. I was more angry than scared that someone would viciously try to take more Israeli lives after Israel has gone through so much. What a cowardly way to make a point! I feel more strongly than I am writing right now, but the point is that life does go on. We drove past the bombing about 7 hours after it occurred, and it looked like nothing happened. People were still waiting in line for the bus. Buses were carrying their full capacity. Life continues despite these gutless terrorists. How dare them.
Beyond that, we arrived at the absorbtion center where I will be living for the next 3 months. I am living with 5 other girls in an apartment meant for new immigrants coming to Israel. We have no oven, no microwave, and as our madrich Feivel says, we are living the "real thing." I finally unpacked all my clothes and made my very very hard bed, and I am beginning to feel at home. I am living with Jesse from the UK, and she and I clicked right away! We have a great time singing show tunes and making sick jokes to each other. I know it is going to be a great situation for the duration.
A little bit about Beer Sheva. Beer Sheva is the fourth largest country in Israel, housing about 200,000 people. It is the largest city in the desert, and was named after the wells in the Torah, specifically the 7th well. This is my first night venturing out in the city, but so far it looks like it will be fun. There is a university here, but the students are on break until after the Holidays.
Today we did are first part of community service. We planned a sort of impromptu carnival for the kids in the absorbtion center where we are living. We ended up having about 50 or so come from all age ranges, and it was a lot of fun! Communication was difficult since they come from all different countries, mostly India, France, Russian, and countries in South America. We have the opportunity to volunteer time within the center working with the kids, so I might try to do something like that weekly.
That is Israel in a nutshell thus far. I have already had my eyes opened in ways I never imagined, and I am excited to see what other things I will discover this year.
One more note... I met a settler just now who left Kfar Darom in Gaza last week. He is staying at this hotel in Beer Sheva and then being moved to Ashkelon for a while until they can start rebuilding their lives in the desert. He was just asking to use the computer to check his email. Amazing.

My First Week in Israel!

2005-08-29T12:47:00.000-07:00

Wow. I have way too much to say. I have been here officially a week, and have done so much already. I'll try to update you as best I can, but it is impossible to include everything that I have done. We left on a plane from JFK at 2:40AM. In total, there are 63 Otzmanikim from all over the US, Canada, and one from the UK on this program. Everybody I have met here is fabulous, and have all come for the right reasons. I am still taking my time getting to know everyone, but I have made strong connections with some of the girls and we have had a blast together thus far!
We started our week in Jerusalem, staying at the Rabin Youth Hostel in Givat Ram, which is just outside of the City. We basically did not leave the hostel for two days as we were updated with information on the history of Israel, disengagement, security, Ethiopian Jews, the differences between Americans and Israelis, and other topics that I am sure I am forgetting. We only ventured out to the town on our second day and went to Ben Yehuda to a bar and then to a hookah bar. Hookah is flavored tobacco for those of you unfamiliar with it. We went down to the Negev to a Bedouin tent and then arose at 5 AM (and I didn't even complain) to go on a hike called Nahal dov. This was the first experience I had actually hiking and making a connection to the desert. The temperature was not as hot as I would have expected, but was not cool like California by any means. We went to the Dead Sea after that and I actually floated for the first time there! The next day, we arose again at 5AM for another hike, this one called Nahal Tamar, and then headed back to Jerusalem for Shabbat. A word about the desert... It is actually more beautiful than I had imagined. We stopped at one point during our first hike and talked about how Abraham passed through the desert on his journeys. This was the place where he spoke with God many times, and when one sits quietly for a while, one can start to imagine why. The peacefulness and spiritual energy that flows from the desert is amazing. For Shabbat, we had a festive meal with our Otzmanikim at the hostel, and then were on our own for Shabbat morning. I went with a couple girls to a shul that I had heard much about from my old boss at work. The shul is progressive Orthodox called Shira Hadasha, and I was blown away when I walked in the door. There were as many women as men, some wearing talitot and kipot. The separation, or mechiza, was a sheer white curtain that was pulled back for certain parts of the service. A woman was leading davening for the entire congregation, and women lead the Torah service and read from the Torah. The Torah was passed on both sides of the mechiza for people to kiss it as it went by. The music was like nothing I had ever heard, and the melodies and harmonies were uplifting and enchanting. I was spiritually uplifted in a way I hadn't been for a while.
We concluded Shabbat with Havdalah and then made our way to the Kotel in the Old City. Strangely enough, I felt like I needed to see the Kotel (Western Wall) to actually believe I was in Israel. I felt differently than I had ever felt before this time when I came. There were people praying, as they usually do, and a woman sobbing as she stood next to me. I was wondering what she was crying about. Had she just left her home from Gaza? Did she just lose a son or daughter in the army? I was suddenly aware of all the cries this Wall must have heard throughout the years, and I was overwhelmed. I realized too that for the first time I will be able to visit the Wall frequently if I wish, not just once and then leave like I had been accustomed to in the past.
After my spiritual experience, I headed out to a club in Jerusalem to meet up with the guards from our trips to the desert, and danced the night away. Jerusalem was amazing.

All Ready to Go!

2005-08-21T01:48:00.000-07:00

It is late, so this will be a short one! After days of stress, I am finally all packed and ready for the year... I am sure I packed too many unnecessary things, but I decided to blame my sex. If I were a guy, I think packing would have been much easier! Anyway, finally the anticipation comes to fruition! I will be in Israel in about two days, or so. I suppose that tomorrow I will just end up sleeping the entire plane ride, because I can barely keep my eyes open as it is... Just to clue you in, tomorrow my plane takes off from Long Beach at 8:50AM and arrives at JFK in New York at 4:55PM (East Coast time). From there, I will head to the El Al terminal where I will meet up with my fellow Otzmaniks. We all will meet and have an orientation at the airport at 8PM, and then our plane takes off to Tel Aviv at 2:40AM! The flight to Israel takes between 10 and 11 hours, so I will be arriving in Israel during the evening. I just hope I get to a bed where I can sleep! Okay, I am going to go to bed now. I love all of you and thank you for being such a support to me through this!

Why Israel? Why Otzma? Why Now?

2005-08-19T04:39:00.000-07:00

The past couple of weeks, I feel like I have been asked the same questions over and over again. I thought I would just talk a little (or a lot) about why what I will be doing over the next year is so important.
I was born an American Jew in the year 1982. This means several things. First, I never experienced the same kind of anti-Semitism that my grandparents or mother did growing up. Being born two-generations beyond the Holocaust supposedly meant that the world had "woken up" and that anti-Semitism would no longer be a problem I would have to face. The Jews had suffered the worst atrocity possible, and the world would not forget that. I would say for the most part, that is how I felt growing up as an American Jew. I never hid the fact that I was a Jew, even though I was the only Jew in my school until middle school. It was a challenge catching up on homework that I missed yearly for the High Holidays, but other than that I felt my childhood was an easy, positive experience for me. The fact that I was born in 1982 also means that I have never lived in a world without the State of Israel. I think many Jews, as I did, take that for granted. We have no idea what the consequences would be if we did not have a State to turn to in our time of need, should it ever arise. We have no idea the fight that took place to establish Israel, nor did we ever experience first-hand the wars that this young country has been through in its nascent existence.
However, in college, I faced a different form of anti-semitism. I watched as professors and administration supported anti-Israel speeches, classes, lectures, and organized groups on campus condemning my country for whatever was on their agenda for that day. I didn't have the knowledge or the tools to start arguing back, or fight what needed to be fought, so I became an observer. I just reacted emotionally at these talks, and became more interested in finding out more. I was not as passionate then as I am now.
AIPAC became a driving force in my quest for knowledge and understanding of Israel. I was exposed to news stories where I read first-hand, every single day, the anti-Israel bias that appears sometimes very subtlely in many newspaper articles. I read about the divestments of churches from Israel because they don't believe Israel has a right to defend herself however she deems necessary. I read about our detractors, of whom are many, and began to understand how truly outnumbered we as Jews are in this world. I feel like I have only scratched the surface of what actually is out there, but I can say that this exposure caused me to wake up. Unfortunately, I am not as optimistic as I once was about the future of Jews anywhere in the world. Actually, I need to revise that. I don't feel confident about the future of Jews in anywhere, except Israel. Israel is there for Jews everywhere in the world. Currently, Israel is bringing in Jews who have been persecuted all over Ethiopia and giving them a safe place to live and prosper. The same goes for the Soviet Jews. Israel exists so we have a place to go and live in peace and prosperity.
This brings me to why I am going for at least a year. I am lucky that I have passion streaming through my veins about Israel. I am unlike the majority of Jews, I am sorry to say. However, it is one thing to articulate how passionate I am, but another to actually act on it. I am spending next year in Israel because of my Zionistic ideals. I want to make a tangible difference in the lives of Israelis, and hopefully help better the country by doing so. I don't want to be a person that has never acted on her passion or ideals, and I need to be a part of Israel's history. I hope that in some way, when I have children, I can say to them that I helped build a school, or built up a community, in Israel and that we are lucky that Israel exists for us. I don't want to just talk the talk, I want to walk the walk and be an example to those around me.
Through Otzma, I will be able to learn about the country and participate in community service projects that will put me in touch with Israelis and Israeli culture. I feel fortunate to have found a program such as this, and will fully utilize all it has to offer me while I am there.
Finally, I am going now because the time in my life is right. I also know how incredibly important it is for me to be in Israel now. I have spend all week watching the settlers disengage from Gaza, and how steadfast the soldiers have been while carrying out this terribly painful process. I am proud of my country. I feel like we have handled this awful situation as best as possible, and can now begin the healing process. I hope that somehow, and I honestly have no idea how, I can be a source of comfort to these people. I feel deep down within me that I need to be there in Israel's time of need, and feel fortunate to have the opportunity to go.

Goodbye LA

2005-08-14T11:30:00.000-07:00

I still am surprised at how well I handled this week. This week I had my last day at AIPAC, my Otzma Send-Off, and moved out of my condo. I also said "L'hit" to many of my close friends and roommates that have certainly shaped my year.
I'll start with leaving AIPAC... This week started differently than most; we had our staff retreat. For me, this time ended up turning into many different opportunities to express my feelings about AIPAC as an organization and my co-workers as my friends. I truly have learned so much from this job, more than I could have ever imagined when I accepted it last August. For my co-workers and myself, the work we do is not only a job but a calling. I don't think I have the ability yet to grasp how unique and inspiring this work environment is. My co-workers were an extended family, to whom I literally opened up my heart, and was able to learn incredible amounts of information on the Middle East and life. In my intimate relationships with my two bosses, I was able to be kicked in the butt when I needed to be and felt like I was better because of it. At this point, I can't quantify how much I will miss my co-workers and the environment and passion we shared, but I am grateful to each and everyone of them for this year.
My Otzma Send-Off was on Thursday. The four fellows from LA (Michelle, Brent, Larry, and me) all joined with staff and lay leaders from the LA Jewish Federation. Elliot Brandt, my former boss at AIPAC and Otzma alumi, also attended. Each of the Federation staff spoke, to educate us on the opportunities and services that the Federation provides. The most interesting speaker was in charge of the LA/Tel-Aviv partnership. For those of you that I haven't told yet, I will be spending the second track of my time in Israel in the city of Tel-Aviv. Initially, I was ecstatic about this because of the weather in winter there. Tel-Aviv was the only place I was warm when I visited Israel in December 2003, so I am so happy that I will not freeze in other parts of the country!! However, the weather is only the tip of the iceberg. There are social action projects already set up in the city that I will hopefully be able to participate in like Cafe Europa. Cafe Europa is a project that essentially brings together Holocaust survivors living in Tel-Aviv for dancing and socializing. There is another educational project set up for underpriveleged kids whose parents have to work. The project sets up after school tutoring and programs to keep them off the streets. As I was listening to these programs being described, I could not help but become incredibly excited and anxious to start this important work!
And finally, I left my apartment in LA. This was a gradual process, over a couple days, but all of my things were out by Friday. I always find it strange the last time I walk out of a place where I have experienced so much. Leaving represents a concrete point that I can reference as a moment of change. Leaving AIPAC was another one of those signals to me that I am moving on to the next stage in my life. My roommates Kristen and Meredith and I went to eat lunch at Il Fornaio in Beverly Hiils before we said good bye and went our separate ways. I will certainly miss them, but I have a hard time believing that I will never see them again. In fact, that is how I feel about leaving my job at AIPAC and LA. I think it is only a matter of time that I will be back in some capacity, and perhaps that is why I am okay with it all.

2 Weeks To Go...

2005-08-07T23:55:00.000-07:00

I had a fabulous weekend. My roommates and I finally had a party at our condo to celebrate the end of our lease on Friday night, and I went to Santa Barbara on Saturday night for Fiesta. Our party was fun, although expensive for us! We decided to have the theme "I'm a big kid now," which basically meant you had to dress up like what you wanted to be when you were a kid. Ironically, I dressed up like a Salsa dancer, or Mexican senorita, neither of which I have ever aspired to be. Anyway, my friend (and fellow Otzmanik) walked into the party with a Homer Simpson mask that covered his head completely. I was a little freaked out until I realized who it was, and then I thought his costume kicked ass! Shana (my co-worker and great friend) dressed up like an archaeologist, and brought this cute little bucket filled with dinosaurs and dots candy. We had an ice luge, and a keg, and everyone ended up hanging out on the roof chatting and drinking. Good times, and a great way to end our lease!
Saturday in Santa Barbara was amazing! I tend to forget just how beautiful the mountains and the beach in Santa Barbara are, and am reminded every time I venture back to visit. This particular time I went to celebrate Fiesta, where the whole downtown is covered with drunk party-goers smashing eggs filled with confetti over each other's heads. Who was I to not partake in this tradition? I met all my college buddies and we did what we do best: drink! We ate, drank, and danced the night away all while smashing eggs and reminiscing about our times together in SB. I really had a hard time saying good bye to all of them, even though I only see them every so often. I stayed with my girlfriend Galeet, who I haven't seen enough since she returned from Israel, and we ate "orgasm bread" after we got back from downtown. So good. I miss SB terribly, but I know I can always go back.
I leave officially two weeks from today. I am starting to get a bit nostalgic. I work three days this week, and I am moving out of my apartment on Thursday. I am not freaking out the same way I did when I left Santa Barbara, but the move still feels bittersweet. This was a great year for growth, and I know I am only going on to grow more in the next year, but I am still sad to leave.

All Shopped Out

2005-07-31T23:31:00.000-07:00

I promise not to bore you with meaningless stories. However, I can't promise that for the time being... You see, in Israel, I won't actually have access to a computer unless I am paying for it. So, I might be writing more now then is actually necessary. I apologize in advance if any of this bores you to death. If you find yourself wanting to fall asleep while reading, please promptly shut off the computer and go to bed so you don't hurt yourself. That being said, I accomplished a lot this weekend. I bought new luggage, a new mummy sleeping bag (very excited about this purchase), new hiking boots (yes, I am going to get dirty!!), and some other random stuff... And, as if that wasn't enough for me, I went to Fashion Island with Kim and really got into trouble... I bought myself a new IPod! I just have to figure out how to use it now. All and all, I am pretty much set now for my adventure next year, and if you can think of anything I am missing, let me know!

Another quick note, I am actually starting to feel like I am leaving. I hear random songs like that Dixie Chicks remake of the Fleetwood Mac song, and I almost start to cry. "I've been afraid of changing 'cuz I built my life around you..." Cheesy lines like that drive me to think I actually am doing something dramatic, and life-altering, and it hits me that I won't come back from this the same person. I can't. I would have to be devoid of emotion and blind to everything going on if I were to avoid changing while I am there. I am scared a bit, but truthfully, more excited than anything.

I'm Going to Israel!

2005-07-27T14:58:00.000-07:00

I will be keeping friends and family updated via this blog. Keep checking back here for updates on my great adventure.